Agents Are Go!!

There's an issue that must be addressed here. There are problems happening all over the world, and people keep trying to help, but they're not sure what to do. There is mass confusion and chaos on the horizon. And somehow, people forget where to look. I shall tell you where to look. Elite Beat Agents.

Yeah, I know. You probably haven't heard of them. Many haven't. But I guarantee you once you get to know them, they can help you solve so many of your life's problems, you will wonder how you got by without them. A local babysitter recieved help with some snotty kids thanks to the EBA. A Texas oil baron won back his supermodel wife with their assistance. They even helped a car lot owner steal back the secret plans for an amazing new car. How in the world do they know how to solve everything? It's simple, really. It's in the music.

Elite Beat Agents is a DS rhythm/action game similar to other music titles. Think Dance Dance Revolution with a stylus. Beats appear on screen, and you tap, drag, or spin them along with the beat. Sounds hard. And sometimes, it is. But there is simply no way to know how amazing this game is until you play it.

You follow the lives of various people across the globe as they battle life's problems. The EBA help out with jazzy beats and sweet moves. Your job is to keep the song going by correctly nailing as many notes as possible. The first mission puts you in the situation of the babysitter with 3 uncontrollable children. Through the inspirational beats of the EBA, the babysitter and her (future) boyfriend find ways to take control over the miniature monsters. Awesome.

Helping a babysitter in a video game? You bet. Not only is it fun, it's hilarious. The graphics are in a neat comic-book style. And it is stinkin' funny. But it's not just funny. It's exciting. It's thrilling. And sometimes, it's even touching. It's amazing how much emotion they crammed onto a tiny DS cartridge.

One story has a deep sea diver hunting treasure to the song YMCA. And the Agents in the background actually do the YMCA dance. Awesome. Another has the car lot owner trying to steal back the car plans to the beat of Canned Heat (the same song Napoleon Dynamite danced to). Awesome.

I can guarantee you by the time you finish playing this game, you will be sweating bullets. And you will enjoy it. The game starts out easy enough. But it's hard. Dang hard. Yeah, it's hard enough that there's no chance you'll get some of the songs on the first try. In fact, on the highest difficulty, every song is a challenge. But the game is so engaging, so intense, and so fun, you have no choice but to keep going until you beat the song.

Obviously, the heart of any rhythm game is the music. This game doesn't let down. Obviously, some songs are better than others. People have different tastes. No problem. This game has everything from the Rolling Stones to Good Charlotte and everything in between. Even better, many of the songs are covers that are actually better than the original. Wow.

Elite Beat Agents is one of those few games that has a perfect mix of great content, extreme emotions, infinite replay value, perfect difficulty, and endless fun. It is a game that everyone needs to play. I don't mean just DS owners. I don't even mean people who like video games. EVERYONE. MUST. PLAY. THIS. GAME. It's that good.

Pros:

• Excellent music!
  
• Emotionally charged stories.
• Stinkin' hard, but perfect for the game.
  
• Funnest. DS. Game. Ever.
  

Cons:

• There are none.

This game has earned a Blatantly Biased:






In case you were wondering, this is only the 12th game to receive this high of a Blatantly Biased score, the only DS game to get a 10 (so far), and the first since Kirby Air Ride (Gamecube, 2003).

Sufferin' Succotash

The Looney Tunes are a force to be reckoned with. They've been around for decades, they adorn everything from lunchboxes to briefs, and their mere presence sells millions. So what happens when a great sport gets mixed with a great franchise?

Looney Tunes B-Ball is a SNES game by Sunsoft. It stars Bugs Bunny and other major Looney Tunes characters as they play the great american sport of Basketball. At first glance, it's kind of like NBA Jam. Everything is 2-on-2, there are special moves, and (most importantly) you can beat each other up. But after you play it for a short while, you realize it's much better than NBA Jam.

First of all, the game employs various items. Items cost money, but conveniently placed gems appear randomly on the court, letting you earn up money to use your items. Some of the less expensive ones include a cream pie, which stuns your opponent, and a time bomb, which you can pass to the other team. One of the expensive items in Vegas, which turns the scoreboard into a slot machine. If you make your next shot, the slots stop, and if you're lucky you can get 2x, 3x, or even 5x what the basket would have been worth by itself. Awesome.

But the action doesn't stop there. The game lets you enter cheat codes mid-game. So you can do funny things like cause an earthquake, reduce gravity, or extend the game clock. You can even morph into any character you want, causing some seriously crazy scenarios. Plus, to help you figure out what the codes are, the game has a Code Hunt, which lets you push buttons and find out the codes you want to know. Incredible.

If you thought the fun stopped there, you're dumb and wrong. Looney Tunes B-Ball is one of the few SNES games to use the multi-tap, which lets four players play at the same time. This can also make for some extremely fun times. On one memorable occasion, my brother and I played against my other brother and my cousin. Since we knew all the codes, it was a good win. The other team was rated PG-13 for language that night. Hilarious.

In short, the game is amazing. It's one of those games that's fun by yourself, fun with friends, and never loses its savor. If I was stranded on an island and I could pick 5 games, Looney Tunes B-Ball would be one of them. It's hard to find, but if you can get your hands on it, it's totally worth the time, money, and effort. I mean honestly, what other game lets you slap Taz in the face and get away with it?

Pros:

• Well drawn, well designed gameplay and design
• Faithful to the Looney Tunes spirit
• Endless replay value

Cons:

• Bugs and Taz get annoying sometimes
• That's about it

This game has earned a Blatantly Biased: