Nintendo E3 Press Conference Liveblog!

Greetings, Nintendorks! If your stupid school or work internet filter will not let you see gaming websites, have no fear! I have placed a liveblog here to let you see the conference in its entirety starting at 10am MDT. Keep in mind that I am not the one making comments on the conference as it happens. I may or may not have linked to someone else's liveblog. It's a free country, dagnabbit! Enjoy! Don't forget your bingo card!




-benjamines

E3 Bingo 2011!!

Ok, so maybe this should have been done a little sooner, but no matter. It is here! Nintendo's press conference starts Tuesday morning at 10:00am MDT! Check it out at Nintendo's website here, or see it at the best website ever right here! While you're watching, have a nice little bingo card to see how many games you will owe me by the time the press conference is over (click on it to see it full size). Be prepared to be blown away! It's gonna be another great year to be a Nintendo fan!

-benjamines

Game Developer’s Conference News!

Nintendo’s Satoru Iwata gave the keynote speech today at the Game Developer’s Conference. While much of what he talked about was aimed at developers (duh), there were some nice new nuggets of information. Check it out!

• A new Mario game is in the works! Yes, this is obvious, because there is always some kind of Mario game in the works, but this is a brand-new 3-D adventure built from the ground up for the 3DS.  Also, it’s being made by the team that made the Mario Galaxy games, so we should be in for a real treat! (Notice the interesting logo below! A similar tail was on the ‘3’ on the Mario 3 title screen. Tanooki, anyone?)
• In addition to offering Game Boy (including Color and Advance) games for download, the 3DS will have Game Gear and Turbo-Grafx games.  Plus, some of the classic games will be updated to run in 3-D! PLEASE NINTENDO, MAKE LINK’S AWAKENING ONE OF THESE!!!
• Netflix will be available for the 3DS! You can start watching a movie on the 3DS and then finish it later on the Wii (or vice versa). Now we just need Netflix to get more good stuff worth watching!*
• At the moment, the 3DS allows users to take 3D photos, but later on, it will also allow people to shoot 3D movies! Fun times!

As you can tell, there is much to be excited about when the 3DS launches this month. Only 35,000 minutes before it’s released!** Hooray!

-benjamines

* I’m half kidding
** March 27th, in case you were wondering

Happy New March!

For those of interested in seeing the answers to the Happy New Year logo compilation riddle that I may or may not have but definitely did forget about, go here.

The rest of you... get back to gaming!

-benjamines

Review: Six for the price of… some.

One thing I love about thrift stores is when you find a sparkling gem of video game history, just waiting to be discovered. Sometimes, the store does not know that the game is valuable, or they have no way of testing it, so they sell it for cheap. Either way, I managed to get a copy of the Genesis 6-Pak for $2.  Not bad, eh?

For those unaware (probably most of you), the Genesis 6-Pak is a collection of 6 Genesis games on a single cartridge. Those games are as follows:

• Streets of Rage
• Golden Axe
• Revenge of Shinobi
• Columns
• Super Hang-On
• Sonic the Hedgehog

To properly rate the entire 6-Pak, I played each game to (or near) completion. Here we go!

Streets of Rage is a ‘hip cops kicking bad guy butt’ brawler a la Double Dragon.  You run around the city beating up baddies, using a variety of weapons that can be found on the street, such as knives, glass bottles, and pipes.  This is probably the only K-A rated game (equivalent to today’s E) you’ll ever play that lets you hit hookers with baseball bats. Not even joking.  Plus, you have a special move where you call in a police car and they launch a bazooka and kill everyone in screen. Why can’t I just be the guy in the car the whole time? Anyways, at the end of most stages you fight a boss, which can be a pair of gymnastics ninjas, a really angry luchador, or a fat guy with heartburn so bad he can breathe fire. Again, I’m being totally serious. My favorite part was the end, where you fight the end boss, who, ironically, looks like a boss, like at work. And you fight him in his office. And he sits in his chair and calls his minions forth. Then he pulls out a gun and kills you. Awesome.

Golden Axe is like Streets of Rage, only set several hundred years in the past. Instead of being an 80s rebel cop, you’re a shirtless swordsman (or woman, or dwarf). And instead of thugs and hookers, you fight skeletons and trollops. The game does change it up a little by letting you ride dragons to burn the crap out of people. Oh, and you can beat up elves to get magic potion, which more or less produces the police bazooka mentioned previously.  It’s actually kind of surprising how much Golden Axe and Streets of Rage have in common. In fact, both games feature the same energy-replenishing meat roast so prominently displayed in video games. The biggest difference is that Golden Axe is slightly shorter, but slightly more difficult.

Revenge of Shinobi is a pretty big let-down. It’s a side-scrolling ninja adventure game where you beat up other ninjas (of course, we all know that none of these are true ninjas, since we can see them). It appears to use photographed images for the characters, so they look real-ish, but the game is so hard, that none of the semi-nifty graphics can make up for it. Think Ninja Gaiden, with the same difficulty, better graphics, and way less fun. Also, Spider-Man makes a cameo. (In versions before the 6-Pak compilation, Batman and Godzilla were there, too). What the crap?

Columns is another one of those ‘line-up-three-gems-to-make-them-disappear’ type of game. Sets of three gems fall from the top of the screen, and you can change the order they fall in to try and remove as many gems as possible. The game does count diagonal lines, which is somewhat uncommon in games like this, so that’s nice. Plus, there’s a beginner mode that lets you get used to the game by showing you where all your potential scoring opportunities are for the the first few minutes. Not a bad game, really. It’s pretty outdated now, but in its day it was pretty popular.

Super Hang-On is a pseudo-3D racing game on motorcycles. Like many racing games of the time, the object was to get to the checkpoint to add to your timer. If your timer ran out, you lost. To be honest, the game is basically Rad Racer, only surprisingly, with worse graphics (considering the NES was 8-bit and the Genesis was 16-bit). The most intriguing part was the difficulties. The easiest one has 6 stages (which really just means checkpoints), so the harder the difficulty, the longer the race. The Genesis version is a port of the arcade version, which may explain its semi-suckitude.

Thankfully, I played Sonic the Hedgehog last, which helped wash the stink out of my thumbs from some of the other games.  It’s still impressive to see how fast and how good Sonic games are, especially when compared to other games of the era.  It’s no wonder the blue blur is as popular as he is. It’s no doubt that Sega owes much of its success in the 80s and 90s to Sonic.  Clearly the highlight of the 6-Pak (even though it’s been played a million times), Sonic the Hedgehog gives you a taste of the exciting rivalry that was Mario vs. Sonic.

For those if you with short attention spans, let me summarize what these games are:

• Double Dragon
• Double Dragon (medieval edition)
• Ninja Gay-den
• Tetri-jeweled
• Rad Racer (suck edition)
• Fast, awesome, cool game

All in all, it’s a good collection. As noted, not all of the games are superb, but the fact that you can get 6 good games for the price of… whatever it cost new, helps make up for some of the games’ shortcomings.

Pros:

• Six games on a single Genesis cart!
• A piece of history!
• Sonic!

Cons:

• Some of the games are kinda lame
• Sonic makes the other games look bad
• Only one Sonic game…

This game has earned a Blatantly Biased:

Happy New Year!

Can you name all of the games/franchises from which these poorly-cut-out letters originated?  The winner gets a “““““prize”””””!




Answers to be revealed… someday!
-benjamines

EDIT: The correct answers are as follows:

Guitar Hero
Animal Crossing
Professor Layton
Perfect Dark
Yoshi
Nintendo
Excitebots
Wario Land
Kirby
Donkey Kong
Castlevania
Paper Mario

200 Posts, 25 years, 2,010… years again

Well, friends, we’ve come to an interesting crossroad.  Not only is this the 200th post of your favorite internet blog, but this year marks the 25th anniversary of our beloved friend, Mario.  Plus, 2010 is over.  So, let’s throw them all together and have a 200th Post/25th Mario Anniversary/2010 Year in Review Spectaculabration!

Yes, 200 is a lot of posts.  And, I’ve created this enormous number of Nintendo-loving articles in just over 3 years.  That’s faster* than any other blog that has ever been or ever will be written.

This year is also exciting because it’s been 25 years since the release of the ever-important, ever-amazing game Super Mario Bros.  As you may know, in the early 80s, America was growing tired of the craptacular video game industry. Not unlike today, thousands of games were created, many without any kind of authorization, and many of those at exorbitant prices.  Yes, the industry was pert near dead at the time.

Then, from a little-known* country named Japan, a new video game system was released that combined stellar graphics, excellent sound, and a radical yet effective controller.  Of course, we’re talking about the Famicom (short for Family Computer, the Japanese equivalent of the NES).  And included with every Famicom and NES was the industry-changing, industry-saving game Super Mario Bros.

Sure, it was kinda weird.  The game starred an Italian plumber who ran around stomping on giant turtles and walking fungi. Then, he would eat mushrooms to somehow grow twice his regular size.  Oh, and don’t forget the flying fish that came shooting out of the ground somehow.  “What a bunch of hippie crap!” the old farts used to say**.  But despite the oddness, the game was an incredible success.  Some parents sold their children to the circus to buy more games**.  The video industry was saved!

This year, Nintendo marked the occasion by offering some special deals: a Mario-red Wii, a Mario-red DSi XL, and a Super Mario All-Stars game for the Wii.  As you can see, it’s a fitting homage to the mustachioed hero.  And of course, because I’m a medically* diagnosed OCNF (obsessive, compulsive, Nintendo fan), I had to have all three.  Hooray!

You may say to yourself, “Man, I am stupid sometimes Isn’t Mario All-Stars just a re-release of re-released Mario games for the SNES?  There’s no reason to buy it!”  If so, you’re a raging idiot.  The end.

Btw, this is my 200th post.  That’s like, an average of one post every ten years since the year 0.  So awesome.  Of course, you know that means I may not post again til 2020, just to keep the ratio the same.

Moving on, 2010 was a great year for gaming.  Between Super Mario Galaxy, Kirby’s Epic Yarn, Metroid: Other M, and Donkey Kong Country Returns, Nintendo gamers have been given an cornucopia of platforming goodness.  And that’s just on Wii!  The DS saw great titles like Mario vs. Donkey Kong: Minis March Again, Super Scribblenauts, and Professor Layton & the Unwound Future.  Several major Nintendo franchises saw new games this year, and they’ve all been amazing!

Don’t forget: 2011 will also be a great year for gaming, particularly because the 3DS will be released.  It appears that 3D gaming is here to stay, especially since the 3DS gives you the benefit of 3D without those terrible glasses!  Personally, I can’t hold in my excitement*** when I think about Paper Mario, Monkey Ball, and F-Zero is 3D.  Rest assured, I will own one.  Here’s hoping they release it in Virtual Boy Red on launch day! (Note: Nintendo has not yet announced the price, colors, or exact date of the 3DS launch.  They will be holding a press conference on January 19th.)

In short, 2010 was a great year: great games, great Mario, great blogging, and great Aunt Germelda.  As you venture on in to the new year, make sure you include some sweet-awesome video games to help dull the pain of stupid and allegedly-necessary evils like homework, mortgage payments, and brushing your teeth.  Remember, you’re better off losing your house from playing too many games than you are getting ebola and dying a terrible, painful death.

As a wise* man** once said, “I can’t handle all this excitement!***”

Happy New Year!

-benjamines

* Not even close
** Somewhat likely
*** Or my urine

Happy 25th, NES!

That’s right, 25 years ago today, the Nintendo Entertainment System transformed the world, saving the ailing video game industry in the process.  Starting on this day 25 years ago, children (and adults) were treated to Mario, Zelda, Kirby, Mega Man, Metroid, and countless other franchises that have since exploded in popularity.

There’s nothing really special about this post.  Just wanted to pay homage to a system that will forever go down as one of the most important pieces of history in the world.  Can you believe a third of households had an NES?  So awesome.

Thank you, NES, for changing all of our lives for the better.  May your offspring provide us with more hours of fun, more characters to love, and fewer insanely hard games that don’t work unless you blow on the cartridge.

-benjamines

(btw, there’s a rumor that the spectacular 25th anniversary DSi XL will indeed be coming to the US.  Here’s hoping the Mario Collection [Mario All-Stars for Wii, more or less] gets here, too!)

3DS is go!

I know it’s N64 week month, but there is some big news that you need to hear!

At Nintendo’s Press Conference that happened just now, they announced that the Nintendo 3DS will release on February 25th in Japan, for 25,000 yen (about $300).  It will launch in the US and Europe in March.  If I had to guess I’d say it’ll be $250 for the US.  Hopefully, anyways.

The launch colors (for Japan, anyway) are Aqua blue and Cosmo black.  I was hoping for Red, so I might have to exercise some serious self-control to wait for that one.  Although, they haven’t announced the colors for North America yet, so we’ll see.

When the system launches, they will have GameBoy and GBA games for Virtual Console!  Hooray!  They are also making many classic games in 3D, possibly even Link’s Awakening, the best Zelda game ever!!  So cool!

Here are some other cool features!  It will include a Mii Creation Studio to create and probably import Miis.  In fact, you can use the built-in camera to take a picture of your face, and the studio makes a Mii for you!  Holy crap, that’s amazing!  You can also download the Mii data (in the form of a QR code) to an SD card to post it on a website.  From there, other users can scan the image with their own 3DS to import your Mii.  Holy awesomeness!

The new and improved Tag Mode lets multiple games keep small pieces of data ready for when someone passes by.  For example, in Animal Crossing, you could send anonymous letters and gifts to people as they pass by you in real life.  This all happens while the system is in sleep mode.  Cool stuff!  All 3DS games will potentially have Tag Mode options.  Also, the system will automatically download data such as leaderboards, ghost data, and updates, all while in sleep mode.

There will be a variety of Augmented Reality games for the 3DS.  Basically, it uses the images from the cameras and adds objects to the screen that move as you do.  Also, you can take 3D pictures with the camera.  That is so awesome!

There are hints that the system has a built-in pedometer that tracks your steps.  That means I can stop carrying around my regular pedometer.  Its 0.1 ounces are SO HEAVY!!

The system will come packed in with a 2GB SD card.  That’s sweet!  Although, I’ll probably get a bigger one eventually.  Still cool, though!

Some of the games include Ocarina of Time, Starfox 64, Pilotwings Resort, and many others.  No words on release dates or prices on games yet.

So there you go!  Here’s hoping it’s no more than $250, and that it comes in Red at launch!  We love you, Nintendo!

-benjamines

Still?

That's right, folks!  N64 week has been extended to N64 two-week!  I didn't have enough time to play all the awesome games I wanted to last week (plus I was super lazy).

So... go play some more awesome N64 games, ya dinguses!

-benjamines