Retro Sunday - July 6, 2014 - Wario Land

Somehow, it's Sunday again. So what sweet retro treat to we have on tap for today? How about a fat, garlic-obsessed turd head named Wario?

Happy 30th Birthday, Tetris!

Tetris turns 30 today. Yes, you read that right. And yes, you are old.

Thursdownloaday - May 22, 2014

It's Thursday, and you know what that means: prostate exam new downloadable games!

Happy 25th Birthday, Game Boy!

25 years ago today, the original, green-screened 8-bit wonder known as the Game Boy launched in Japan. Selling almost 120 million units, it revolutionized the way we played games on the go. Between Tetris, Pokemon, Zelda, Kirby, and various Mario games, Nintendo took hold of the portable market, and arguably, has never lost its grip.

Fulfilling Your Japaneeds

Nintendo is a Japanese company. I’m guessing that’s because it was founded in Japan. And, for whatever reason, many of the games created in Japan never make it to US shores. It’s a shame, really, since many of these games are excellent. Let’s have a look at a few Japanese games that never made it to the US of A.

Mondownload… wait, what?

Hello again, faithful readers (both of you)! Today,we need to make some changes. You see, Nintendo recently changed the day of the week on which they release downloadable games from Monday to the closer-to-the-weekend Thursday. This means that Mondownloaday is no more. So, without further adieu, I present to you: Thursdownloaday! Ok, no it’s not a radical change. But who cares?! New games!

• The Ignition Factor (SNES, 800 pts) – If you dig fighting fires and you don’t might tedius challenges, this game is for you. If you like letting people burn to death, then this game is also for you. You’ll just have to play it a little counter-intuitively. (If you’re looking for a fun firemen game, try to get your hands on The Firemen [also for the SNES]. It’s much better.)

• Let’s Create! Pottery (500 pts) – Who doesn’t love making digital pots? Especially when you don’t actually get to keep or use the end result? I guess if you really like pretending to potterize, then give it a try. Also, you know… if you’re gay.
• Magical Whip: Wizards of the Phantasmal Forest (200 pts) – In this game whose name resembles my favorite sandwich spread, you run around and beat up monsters with your magical whip. While it may sound as gay as the previous game I mentioned, it looks pretty fun. It’s almost Bubble-Bobble-esque in a way, so I might actually spend the miniscule 200 pts to check it out. Speaking of… I hope Squeenix makes a 3DS Bubble Bobble for download. That’d be schweet!
• Calculator (200 pts) – For those of us who don’t already have 50 calculators and/or people who think they have 200 pts that simply can’t be spent anywhere else. Also nerds.

• Gargoyle’s Quest (Game Boy, $3.99) – In this spin-off of the Ghosts n’ Goblins universe, play as a Gargoyle and run around beating the crap out of things. I hear it’s good. I guess you better download it and find out for sure!

Well, there’s your Thursdownloaday! Another week, another crop of games. Go buy some of them! Or buy me some of them! I won’t mind! Bye now!

-benjamines

Colors for Crullers, pt. 2

This is part two of the feature about Nintendo's portable systems and their colors.  You can read part one here.

Ok, it's tomorrow (or shortly thereafter)!  Let's finish this bad boy!

So, in the summer of 2001, Nintendo came out with the next revision of the Game Boy (and quite frankly, the first major revision to the series): the Game Boy Advance.  It had a 32-bit graphics processor (upgraded from 8-bits), a large, wide, color screen, shoulder buttons, and the buttons were on the side, rather than underneath (which made it easier to hold for long-fingered freaks like myself).  The graphics chip was designed to easily add nice effects to games, such as resizing and rotating sprites.  It could also play all previous Gameboy games, essentially giving it a launch library of several hundred games.  Oh, and here's a fun fact: the GBA was actually created before the Game Boy color.  But Nintendo released the GBC first because it had better battery life and the technology was significantly cheaper at the time.

The system's first standard color was indigo with gray trim.  There were other colors as well, such as black and frosted white.  It looked really cool (most of the colors would match the upcoming Gamecube colors), and more importantly, it had some incredible games.  The high-profile launch title was Super Mario Advance, which is Super Mario Bros. 2 with enhanced graphics and some cool bonus features, like single-cart multiplayer of the original Mario Bros. game.  It also launched with F-Zero Maximum Velocity, which looked like the SNES F-Zero, but with a bunch of sweet new tracks (and really cool music, like any other F-Zero game).

Basically, it was a freakin' cool new portable game system with some insanely cool new games (many more of which would follow in the next few years).  I was working at an insanely busy Albertson's deli at the time, and the day the GBA came out, I went to the local Kmart and bought the Indigo GBA with Super Mario Advance and F-Zero.  I was literally in heaven.  I even tried to play F-Zero while I was driving home, which was probably the stupidest I have ever done in my entire life.  But I'm still alive, so it was worth it.  Besides, now I can say I drove two vehicles at once (the crappy red Taurus and the Blue Falcon).  Then, later that night, I convinced my little brother that it was a remote control for the microwave I won at my Senior All-Nighter party.  Awesome.

A year or two after that, Nintendo released a really cool revision to its new GBA lineup: The GBA SP.  It was a foldable, vertical-style GBA with a backlit screen and internal rechargeable battery.  As such, it was an amazing system, and was insanely popular.

The GBA SP also had one of the coolest special edition designs ever seen on any game system ever.  One year for the holiday season, they released a special NES edition (pictured) that was colored like an NES controller.  As you can see, the nostalgia combined with the GBA library makes it a very desirable machine.  It's probably the only Nintendo system ever released that I don't have, but wish I did.  I attempted to buy one used once, but when the kid replied to my e-mail, he said "one of my friends ruined it", which we all know translates to "I decided I wanted to keep it" and/or "my friend wanted it more, so I let him have it instead."  But no worries.  I take comfort in the fact that he will spend eternity roasting alongside the Game Boy Pocket thief. (Game Boy pick-Pocket?)

In any case, when the DS was revealed, it basically spelled out the end of the GBA's life.  But before it gave up the ghost, Nintendo gave it one final and super-sexy revision: the Game Boy Micro.  It's a tiny, super-sleek system with an ultra-bright screen.  It has (almost) everything the regular GBA has, plus it's ultra-tiny, as you can see.  And get this: Wal-Mart had these for Black Friday one year for $25.  That's right: just 4 hours of work at a minimum wage job earned me the hot, shiny GB Micro.  Awesome.  There were a few different colors (silver, black, and a cool Famicom-colored one [think gold and red]), but that's not the best part: each Micro came with 2 interchangeable faceplates, so you can change the style whenever you want.  Now that's awesome.

Even though, sadly, the GBA is no longer being made, Nintendo has more than made up for it.  The Nintendo DS is absolute proof that Nintendo is the de facto champion of portable gaming.  Obviously, Nintendo decided to keep up their tradition of making cool colored systems.  Originally, the dual screen wonder came in a silver/black combination.  As the years went on, new colors were released (black, red, blue, etc).  I remember one particular time when the Nintendo DS Blue/Mario 64 DS bundle had just come out for $150. Now that's a great deal!  Anyways, I was working as a furniture delivery person and the lady that owned the furniture store gave me $150 as a tip.  Perfect timing!  But stupid me, I stupidly decided to pay off the college books I had recently bought instead.  So stupid!  But it all worked out in the end.  You see, at the time, I was dating this crazy girl.  And for my birthday (a few months later), she bought me a DS.  Awesome!  Then I broke up with her.  Free DS!

So, a year or two later, Nintendo decided the DS needed a more modern look, so they came out with the DS Lite, which was smaller, brighter, and pretty much better all around.  And it could still play GBA games, so that's cool.  It was a very well-designed system.  It had a clear plastic shell around the colored plastic, which kept your from getting scuffs on the color, which was awesome.  I bought the sweet white one, but they also had black, pink, and eventually green, blue, rose, and few special editions.

Unfortunately, at some point, I overplayed the system so bad, the touch screen got ruined.  :(  I don't know if it was from trying to beat Trauma Center or get first on some of the insane events on Mario & Sonic at the Olympics, but it didn't matter.  The screen wouldn't register touches correctly, so it was basically impossible to play anything that used the touch screen.  Fortunately for me, having the sweetest wife in the world has its advantages!  That next birthday, I received the sweet cobalt/black DS Lite, which I still use to this day.  Hooray!

That next April (or so), Nintendo released the DSi, which, as you all know, is a DS without the GBA slot, and two cameras.  Plus, you can download original games a la Wii.  At the time, Gamestop had a really good deal, where if you traded in an old DS, you could get $70 off the DSi.  So, I found a cheap replacement touch screen on eBay, installed it in the broken White DS Lite, and boom!  DSi for cheap!  It launched in Black and Sky Blue.

Since its launch, the DSi has seen several cool colors, such as white and metallic navy, which even came with 5 free games built-in.  Now, you can get the DSi XL, which is significantly larger, plus has designer colors such as Wine Red and Leather Brown (or something like that).  And, if the Japanese colors get here (which they probably will eventually), we'll soon have everything from pink to yellow to green, among others.

So there you go.  Nintendo's history of colored portable systems.  Pretty awesome, I do declare.  And surely, we haven't seen the last of it.  In fact, let's take some guesses on 3DS colors while we're at it.  Here's my guess for launch color: brushed metal.  Or even better, since they'll probably call it the Nintendo Egg, it'll be white with green spots.  How cool would that be?  Or hey, here's a really cool idea: it's clear, with colored LEDs built-in, so you can change to color to whatever you want.  Yeah, baby!  I'm awesome!

Alright, well, I'm tired, so I'ma go pick a colored system and play some games on it.  Hoo-hah!

-benjamines

Colors for Crullers

Seeing those new DSi XL colors from the other day reminded me of some of the cool hues Nintendo has painted their systems with in the past, including their premiere portable, the Game Boy.

Of course, we all remember the good ol' Gameboy (or at least, we've seen one before, right?).  Since the Christmas of '87 (when I became helplessly addicted to Nintendo), I've always wanted every cool thing Nintendo released, which is pretty much everything they released.  It had really cool games, like Super Mario Land, Picross, and Tetris (which, btw, sold a ridiculous 30 million copies).

Sure, the GB had some issues, like the screen.  You pretty much had to be playing in direct sunlight to even see everything, and even then, the screen could be a bit blurry at times.  But that didn't matter.  Nintendo's forte has always been to make exceptional games with less expensive technology.  Having games like Mario, Metroid, and the best Zelda ever made helped keep this system on top of the charts, even when higher-powered, color-screened competitors entered the market.

Sometime around 1995, Nintendo decided to start making colored Game Boys.  And I don't mean the Game Boy Color.  I mean regular Game Boys with colored shells.  They called it the "Play It Loud" series.  And while they were basically the same thing, I wanted one that much more.  They had yellow, red, green, blue, and the ultra-awesome clear shell.  I remember this period of my life very vividly: my older brother had a job, so he pre-ordered the clear one (so awesome!) with Donkey Kong Land from JC Penney.  I remember playing Kirby's Dreamland 2 for hours while he was at work.  In fact, I would sit by the window and wait for him to come home so I could put it back before he beat me up.  Then, one day (1996-ish), my family was at Wal-Mart, and they had the colored Game Boys on sale for - I kid you not - $55.  My parents owed me that much money (for what, I don't remember), and I begged them to buy me the green one, but to no avail.  I was not a happy camper.  But it wasn't all bad news.  A better system was released shortly thereafter.  More on that later.

A year or so after the Play It Loud series was released, Nintendo revised the Game Boy design dramatically, giving it a much sleeker profile, and more importantly, a much sharper screen.  It was called the Game Boy Pocket, and it was a beautiful thing to behold.  My younger brother actually got one that Christmas with Kirby's Block Ball.  Yeah, I kinda got shafted back then when it came to video games.  But that's not to say I didn't play his all the time, 'cause I did.  Sadly, some time after it was handed down to my sister, it was lost forever.  Oh, and to the little brat who stole it out of my parent's crappy brown minivan with my copy of Super Mario Land 2, I hope you burn in hell.

But moving on, a year or so after that revision to the Game Boy, Nintendo blew our minds: a colored screen.  In fact, this is how it went: my older brother always bought video game magazines (EGM, etc), and my younger brother and I would steal them and read them.  Well, one day, we're out in the crappy brown minivan while our parents are shopping at Waremart (cheap food store, which later turned into Winco) reading one of these magazines.  Our conversation went exactly like this, I kid you not:

Me: "Hey, do you know what'll be cool?"

Him: "What?"

Me: "When they make a Game Boy with a colored screen."

Him: "Yeah, that'd be so cool."

*turns page*

Both: "WHOOOOOOAAAAHH!!!!"

That's right, the next page was a huge article on the newly announced Game Boy Color, with the flagship clear "Atomic Purple" color in all its glory.  I couldn't have been happier.  In the summer of 1999, I got a job at Wendy's and my very first paycheck of my whole life bought me the clear purple GBC, Super Mario Bros. Deluxe, and Conker's Pocket Tales.  It was a glorious day.  And from then on, I bought a new game almost every week while I was working.  I still hold very fondly the memories of that clear purple wonder that helped me through countless lunch rushes, class lectures, and bus rides.  Essentially, it was like this: all through high school, I played it almost every day on the bus ride to school, on the way home (30 minutes each way), during class, at home, and on speech trips (which were nearly every weekend from like November to March).  Yeah, I tended to play it a lot.  I logged over 100 hours on Mario Golf (the counter stops at 99:99), I beat Zelda 3 or 4 times all the way through, and I played that co-op mode on Mario Deluxe thousands of times.  My good ol' GBC got more play time than perhaps any system since.  Eventually, it was handed down to my brother, and later on, sadly, it died.  It was probably the only Nintendo system I've ever owned that simply stopped working.  Poor thing.  (I have the teal colored one now).

The Game Boy Color was cool because it could play the new Color games (which had clear cartridges), plus it could play older games in color (you could even choose the colors somewhat, although with a very limited palette).  They also made special black "in-between" cartridges that worked on the GBC and the regular GB.  Plus, it lasted forever with just 2 batteries.  I bought 4 rechargeable AA batteries for it (swapping sets back and forth) and the batteries wore out long before the system did.  Awesome.

The next iteration of the Game Boy came out in 2001, but I'll save that one for tomorrow.  Until then, I think I'll go play a round of Mario Golf on my teal GBC.  Or maybe I'll play some Pokemon Pinball.  Duke Nukem maybe?  Perfect Dark?  Motocross Maniacs 2?  Wario Land 3?...

-benjamines

108 in 2008 Completion: Part 5

And now we conclude our week-long look into a large number of games beaten in a relatively short amount of time. It comes out to about one game for every three days of the year. That's pretty schweet.

And now, I present to you, friends, the final game in the 108 in 2008 arsenal.

If you guessed that my last game would be a Mario game, you were WRONG! But if you guessed Ninja Turtles, then you hit it right on the head.

The final game I beat this year was Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles IV: Turtles in Time for SNES. I figured it would be an appropriate title to end the year on. It's fun, it's exciting, and it's TMNT. That's about as good as it gets.

TMNT IV takes everything that was great about TMNT 2 and 3 for NES, adds new moves and enemies, and throws in an extra dose of awesome. It's just as fun as its predecessors.

There are plenty of new moves in this game. For example, you can do a sort of donkey-kick-while launching-into-the-air type thing, which kills standard foot soldiers in one hit, but takes one slice of energy. There are also a few moves that happen semi-randomly. Sometimes your turtle will grab an enemy and then slam him on the ground back and forth, which is nice because it also kills any foot soldiers you slam him into. Also, sometimes the turtle will either launch the foot soldier way into the air, never to be seen again, or launch him at the screen, which is pretty cool.

Of course, you will see some of your standard issue TMNT bosses along the way. Baxter Stockman is back, The Rat King has a bone pick, and of course you'll see plenty of multi-colored and multi-talented foot grunts.

As per usual, you'll see pizzas lying around, which replenish your health. And of course, in 2-player, you'll be fighting to see who gets it. Also, there are pizza-box shaped bomb items, which make your turtle go into a crazy frenzy and kill everything in their path. Sweet!

Now, don't go thinking that this game left out the best part of the NES stages: the moving ones. In TMNT, I always loved playing level 7 because you were on rocket powered skateboards, which followed your every move. TMNT IV is no different. One level has you on a rocket powered surfboard, ripping it up in the sewers. Plus, there's a cool F-Zero-esque level that has you on another rocket powered board-type thingy. You don't have to steer or anything, but it looks cool.

In short, the game is loads of fun. It has great multiplayer, the sound and graphics are (mostly) well-done and the enemies are varied and plentiful. It makes a fitting end to this journey of 108 in 2008, and most importantly, it's a fun video game.

Pros:

• Classic TMNT beat-em-up action
• Cool new bosses and levels
• New moves

Cons:

• If you don't like TMNT, it may get monotonous*

This game has earned a Blatantly Biased:






So there you go. The end of the goal. Hooray!

Here are some interesting statistics about this year's journey:

• There were 14 Mario games
• There were 7 Sonic games
  
• There were 5 Ninja Turtles games
• There were 21 games beaten in March
• There were only 2 games beaten in each of April, May, July and December (ouch!)
  
• The system with the least games beaten: Game Boy Color: 1
• The system with the most games beaten: Nintendo DS: 26
• I was ahead of schedule more than twice as long as I was behind schedule (71%)
  
• I was right on track clear up until June
• 9 of the 11 SNES games were beaten in Q4
• All 7 Virtual Boy games were beaten in September
• The longest time I went without beating a game was 24 days
• The most games I beat in one day was 5 (done twice, on March 20th and June 24th)

So there you have it. The end of a journey. Will 2009 hold any type of similar quest? Only time will tell...

Oh, and by the way... Merry Christmas!

-benjamines

Currently Playing: Line Rider 2 Unbound, WarioLand Shake It!, Trauma Center: New Blood



* If you don't like TMNT, there's something wrong with you.

108 in 2008 Completion: Part 2

April is a good month. My wife and I were married in April, spring comes in April, and of course with spring comes spring break, which gives me lots of time for cool games. And, as you will see, some crappy games, too. Again, click on the picture to view in full-size.

The first game that was beaten this quarter was Commander Keen for Game Boy Color. I love the Game Boy Color. It had some incredible and amazing games, present company excluded. Commander Keen for DOS was amazing. This one… not so much. I say steer clear! Luckily for me, it was cheap.

Anyways, following that unfortunate disaster, I got the chance to play Warioware Twisted for GBA. Ho. Ly. Crap. This. Game. Rules. Seriously. As you may know, Warioware involves a rapid succession of microgames, each lasting only a few seconds, or less. This version has a tilt sensor built-in to the cartridge, which lets you turn and twist the GBA to make things happen. Turn an old man upside down and make his hat fall off. Twist the knob on a quarter machine and make a prize come out. Drive a car around. All without using any buttons. Purely hilarious.

The next game on my list was Megaman Battle Network 4. I enjoy the Megaman Battle Network games, I really do. It's just that so little changes in each one (besides the story), it starts to become monotonous. Hooray for cheat codes!

Following that, I obtained a copy of Worms Open Warfare 2 for the DS. It's worms! For the DS! Awesome! And it's done really well! Also awesome! Then I played through Starfox Command. It's pretty fun. It lacks the 'punch' most Starfox games have, but it's still pretty entertaining. A few weeks after that, I also played through Starfox 64 for the first time. While the graphics are better on the new version, the 64 game is clearly better, even though it's quite a bit harder. Both fun games, tho!

And then… something amazing happened. Super Smash Bros. Brawl came out. To be perfectly frank, there has yet to be released a better game for the Wii. It is purely amazing. (Nearly) everything in the game is polished to perfection. I can't in good conscience give it a perfect 10, mainly because Captain Falcon is still the only character from F-Zero in the game. The Samurai Goroh assist trophy doesn't count. I'm not afraid to give the next Smash Bros. a 9/10 or less if Nintendo doesn't wise up! Come on! Where's the F-Zero love?! Apart from that, it's an incredible game. Hooray!

Anyways, next on the list is True Swing Golf, a fairly simply, but quite entertaining golf game. The physics are good, the courses are fun, and the best part? You can golf in the snow. That just plain rules. After that, I got a hold of a cheap copy of Bust a Move DS. Bust a Move is fun. The puzzle mode on this game is ridiculously hard sometimes. But it's fun.

Wow. We're only now getting into May. Let's speed it up a bit, eh? The first game in May was Looney Tunes: Duck Amuck. Its premise? Drive Daffy Duck insane. Put dynamite under the piano keys. Paint him like Duck Dodgers and then use a disintegration ray on him. Or just konk him on the head. Cool! Then I played TMNT 3 for the DS. It's funny how the portable versions of games like TMNT are superior to their much-more-expensive-to-make console brethren. That's why I've always said that gameplay will ALWAYS trump everything else, especially graphics.

This quarter, I beat 2 Mariokart games: Mariokart Double Dash (which I had played a lot, but didn't actually own until a few months prior) and Mariokart Wii. Both of them are loads of fun. I'm not sure which is better, because they are both amazing. IGN gave Double Dash a 7.9 out of 10. Even though it was the second-best selling GCN title (right behind Smash Bros. Melee). Did they even play the game? In any case, it's just more proof that IGN is willing to give ratings based on who pays them more.

But I digress. Next on the list is Kirby Super Star for SNES. It's like a bunch of short Kirby games rolled into one. It's a lot of fun, but it's descendant (which shall be talked about later in the week) is more fun in my opinion.

Now comes some more crap. I bought a Game Gear for cheap and the games that came with it are stupid and dumb and ridiculous. Jurassic Park. Ooh, running from scary 8-bit dinosaurs. And then there's Evander Holyfield's Real Deal boxing. I think by Real Deal, he actually meant Total Load. Seriously. The game sucks.

Fortunately, the next few games take that stinky bad taste out of my video game playing mouth. First off is Chibi-Robo. I love Chibi-Robo! This time it's the DS version. It's similar to the GCN game, but this time you're cleaning a park instead of a house. You plant flowers, build sidewalks, etc, etc. I will say that there is a distinct "green" message in the game. But to be honest, I don't care. Cause the game is loads of fun. Definitely worth playing multiple times.

Then came Super Paper Mario. It's a mix of the classic Mario platforming we all know and love, and the fun Mario RPG elements. While it's not quite as compelling as the original Paper Mario games, it still has a lot of fun packed in there.

And now for another innovative DS title. Drawn to Life lets you draw your own character, your own weapons, your own platforms… the list goes on and on. The game itself is quite easy, and it's not very hard to beat all the bosses, but the fact that you can customize almost everything makes it worthwhile.

Another great DS title follows: Castlevania Portrait of Ruin. This game's predecessor was incredible. It was very hard, but it was amazingly fun. This one follows the same type of run-around-and-destroy-monsters type gameplay, but it also lets you switch between two different characters at any time. It makes for some good strategy. While I say it's not as good as the first one, mainly because it's the same type of thing, it's still a lot of fun.

Ok, so now we're nearing the bottom. Don't give up yet! First of all, I beat the third Phoenix Wright game, the second this year. Cool! It's as fun as the second one, and maybe even more fun. The stories are very exciting and tense. I like it! I hope they make another Phoenix Wright game, to be honest. I love Apollo Justice as much as anyone, but Phoenix Wright just has a certain charm to it.

Anyways, the next game was Pokemon Red. I'm not a fan of the Pokemon games, but this one was actually surprisingly fun. Then I played Sonic Rush Adventure. It's actually very well done. There are missions to complete, and you can reach the same level of insane speed as the original games. It's definitely underrated.

Then I decided it was time for a little retro action. Or lack thereof. I played Slalom for NES first. It's actually pretty fun. You ski down a hill and try not to run over snowmen and babies. I kid you not. Then I played Mario is Missing, also for the NES. And I will admit that this is by far the worst Mario game I have ever played. It is extremely confusing, it's extremely retarded, and it's extremely weird that Nintendo would let someone else make a game with Mario without their help. Cause it sucks. To be honest, I didn't actually beat it. But after 5 minutes, I felt like I'd rather glue my butt cheeks together.

Alright, so rounding out Q2 are Sonic the Hedgehog 2 for the Genesis (which is pretty good, not as good as 3), and Viewtiful Joe Double Trouble for DS. Viewtiful Joe is just plain cool. And while some of the puzzles are really hard to figure out, the game packs so much style and pizzazz, it's worth taking the time. A good game to mark the half-way point!

Ok, so if you're still awake, let me just say that this has been fun. Half way there! Yahoo! What could be in store for the rest of the year's games?... Stay tuned to find out!*

-benjamines

Currently Playing: Polarium Advance, Metroid Prime 2, Megaman 9

* That means come back tomorrow and read what crap I write.

108 in 2008 Completion: Part 1

Yes, you read that right. The nigh-unreachable goal has been conquered. How, you ask? I do not know. I only know why. Because I had to.

Since the completion last night, I have pondered on the goal and taken a look back at the plethora of games I have passed through. Take a walk with me now.

Before I explain, see how many characters in this picture you can identify. If you can name more than I can, you can run the blog. Also, click on the picture to see the full-size version.

Look at that beast. It's an amalgamation of most of the games I beat from January through March. The first game I beat in 2008 was Phoenix Wright: Justice for All. It's the second chapter in the Phoenix Wright trilogy. And, of course, it is a lot of fun. It doesn't have quite the punch the first one had, but it's still exciting and fun.

Following that, I played through Mario & Sonic at the Olympic Games, the official Nintendo 2008 Olympic Video Game, and also the first game featuring Sonic & Mario together. It's not quite the explosion of awesome you might expect from a Sonic vs. Mario game, but it's still a lot of fun. Also, be prepared to have extremely achy shoulder and back muscles afterwards. You're not gonna beat Sonic lying down.

You can see the Wii Zapper in the middle of the bottom there. It came with the awesome Link's Crossbow Training game. While the design is somewhat strange, it works well, and the game is extremely fun. Kinda hard, but very fun. Sequel, anyone?

Following that, I played through a few games that should have been better. First was the TMNT movie game, which was still fun, but should have been better. Then I finished Mario & Luigi Superstar Saga, which should have been much better. Anyone who thinks it's as good as Paper Mario is an idiot and should have all their video games taken away.

The next game I beat is the second-best Zelda game ever. Seriously! Twilight Princess is amazing in every way. It is only slightly less fun than Link's Awakening for the Game Boy. And that's saying something. It has everything a Wii game needs: fun, good use of motion controls, and also fun.

I also finished Super Monkey Ball Banana Blitz. The main game is fun (except for the boss battles), and a few of the mini-games are good, too. But seriously. You can't expect to have FIFTY mini-games that are all fun. Even Mario Party doesn't have ALL good games (even though they are mostly good). I'd say maybe 10. If you're lucky. Which you're not. Unless you are… Ponder that for a while.

Anyways, Q1 2008 was not all broken expectations. I played through the short but fun Yoshi Topsy-Turvy. Why are Yoshi games almost always too short? Then I played the awesome and more awesome Trauma Center Second Opinion. I'm surprised how well the game works with the Wii remote. There are a couple of not-so-smooth moments, but for the most part, they did a good job. I need more!

After conquering a couple of dumb and lame games from the 80s, I had the extreme privilege of playing and completely conquering Elite Beat Agents, the best DS game in existence. This goal was worth beating for this game alone. It's just that good. But the greatness didn't stop there. I also played through the GCN version of Chibi-Robo, the under-sold and under-appreciated tiny robot. Poor guy. I can't wait until people appreciate you so we can see more of you!

Believe it or not, I actually beat two Zelda games in one quarter. The second was Link to the Past, the SNES classic. While it is still fun, I didn't enjoy it as much as many others did. Maybe because I played it after Twilight Princess. That's a hard act to follow.

Following that, I played the very entertaining Hotel Dusk: Room 215 for DS. It's kind of like an interactive novel. And it's fun. It's not as good as Trace Memory (made by the same people), but it's still very entertaining. Then came TMNT 2: Battle Nexus. This one is made for 4-players. Which gives it a pretty serious problem. If you play on 1-player, you still face the same difficulty that 4-people would face. Talk about unfair. Definitely more fun with more people.

You can probably see Megaman in the picture there. I played 10 of his games this quarter. What?! Yeah!! But it's not like you think. I played Megaman Anniversary Collection, which gives you rapid-fire. So it's a little easier. But I still beat all the games. Awesome!

An amazing thing happened in March of this year. I managed to obtain a copy of DDR Mario Mix. A feat in and of itself. The game does not disappoint in any way. It is incredibly fun, incredibly tiring, and just plain awesome. This is another one of those games that's worth getting a Gamecube (or Wii) for.

Rounding out the first 27 games was Donkey Konga 2, Picross DS, Sonic and the Secret Rings, and Billy Hatcher & the Giant Egg. Donkey Konga 2 is fun, but not quite as fun as the first. Still good, tho. The others are good games. Picross is the only one worth playing after you beat it.

The final game for the Q! was Mario Party 8. Of course it's gonna be something awesome! While not as perfect as Mario Party 3, it still has some great games and loads of fun. Plus, it has something you can't do in Mario Party 3. You can play as Toad! Amazing!

So there you have it. The first quarter of the conquering of the 108 in 2008 goal of the universe time. Stay tuned this week to see more games, including much crappier ones!

-benjamines

Currently Playing: Animal Crossing: City Folk, Line Rider 2: Unbound, NBA Street v2

Wario Goes Guff! Guff!

I know you're all starving for another award-winning* installment of BB's very own GFGF Awards. Well, too bad.

Just kidding. Since the brand-new WarioLand Shake It! is coming out soon for the Wii, now seems appropriate to give out a GFGF Award (Greatest Freakin' Game in the Franchise) to the Warioland series.

The first Wario Land game was for the original Game Boy and it was actually called Wario Land: Super Mario Land 3. I don't know why Mario was in the title, cause he wasn't really in the game, except for the very end when he came and stole your treasure. In any case, the original Wario Land was a fantastic game. It wasn't too hard, it wasn't too easy. There was plenty of treasure to find, and plenty of enemies to keep you from it. It changed up Mario's classic run-and-jump platforming a little by making Wario slower (have you seen his legs?), but also much stronger. Plus, if you manage to find some items along the way, you can increase that power. Some items, such as Garlic, make you stronger and faster. Plus you get to wear a sweet Viking Helmet. Other items, such as the Dragon Hat, let you breathe fire and burn things. You can't get much better than that.

Wario and Mario are two very different people. Mario is in it for everyone. He's always saving the Princess or fixing drain clogs. Wario is in it for himself. He's always trying to get more and more treasure. Not that that's a bad thing, because come on, he's Wario. Besides, that's where half the fun in the Wario Land games is. You go through it once to beat all the levels, but then you go back to find all the treasure. The replay value for these games is actually quite high.

In any case, the next Wario Land game came just a year later, and it launched with the Virtual Boy. Many consider it to be the VB's greatest game. I'm not sure I agree, but it's certainly in the top 14. Either way, the game is a lot of fun. It took the same great Wario Land platforming action, and added 3-D elements, such as being able to jump from background to foreground.

Then, in 1998, the game went back to it's Game Boy roots with the cleverly titled Wario Land II. This one added a new twist by making Wario invincible. Now you may be saying, "That's stupid! What's the point of a platformer if you can't die?!" First of all, there are lots of platformers where you can't die.** Secondly, the game was not made any easier by lack of death. For example, there are levels where you must climb around on nets. These nets are ridden with pointy bugs that will knock you off if you touch them. Basically, you're going to be going across those nets more than a few times. Trust me, the invincibility is for the best.

Wario Land II was also interesting in that there were multiple endings in the game, depending on which treasures you found. This gave the game even more replay value than before, letting you go back and find all the treasures, and in turn, all the endings.

But, like many TV shows and game franchises, Wario didn't hit his stride until his 4th installment. That's right, Wario Land 3. Released in 2000, it was everything Wario Land needed to be, plus more. It gave you everything from the previous games, plus a freakin' sweet golf mini-game and some of the coolest music since Mario Bros. 2.

Each level in Wario Land 3 has 4 treasures to collect. But you can't get them all in one shot. Certain conditions need to take place first. For example, one of the treasures in a level might be a light, which turns on the lighthouse, which lets you go to the level near the ocean. So some levels need to be completed before others can be played.

The level designs in WL3 are fantastic. Plus, the powers you can get accomodate a lot of strategy. Some levels have thin floors, which you can only pass through if you are a zombie. To recover from being a zombie, you need to get into the sunlight. Some areas can only be accessed by breaking through the floor, which can only be done by eating a donut and gaining a disgusting amount of weight. Don't worry. Wario has a lightning fast metabolism, letting him simply walk the fat off. These elements make for a great game all around.

Now, don't get me wrong. I think all the Wario Land games are fun. But it is clear that some are better than others. The GameCube Wario World was a fantastic piece of fun, whereas the DS Wario: Master of Disguise was good but not great. Either way, Wario Land 3 sits cleanly atop the pedestal of Wario branded adventures. Therefore, Blatant Bias proudly bestows its highest honor to Wario Land 3 for the Game Boy Color. Congraturations!


Agree? Unagree? Let us know in the comments!

-benjamines

* Yeah, right.
** But I can't think of any.

Still Waiting For: Looney Tunes B-Ball (SNES)