Tuesday, December 30, 2008

And so it begins...

Imagine sledding down a hill. But not just any hill. This hill is enormous. And it has loop de loops. And it's completely impossible. And don't expect to live through the ride. At the very least, expect to hurl all over the place when you finally stop. Or while you're still moving. It's your choice, really.

Alright, so if you were reminded of Line Rider, nice job! If not, then... um... good try? Either way, I finished the game this morning, so chalk up the first beaten game for 50 by 4-19.

Line Rider 2 Unbound for the DS is actually a really cool game. It takes all the coolness of the original and adds a bunch of new stuff. Like new lines, such as speed up and slow down lines, trap door lines, and my personal favorite, trampoline lines. Also, the rider is much harder to kill, which lets you have much crazier tracks.

The DS Line Rider is much more than just a toy, however. There is a fairly well-thought out story mode that puts you in the role of Bosh, the world's best sledder. But how could a story mode be any fun when you can just draw whatever lines you want? The trick is that you can only draw in certain areas. Most of the level is already drawn. But that doesn't make it easy. In fact, it makes it very difficult. There are some levels that can take close to an hour to beat, even though it only takes a couple of minutes to ride the whole level.

In story mode, the point is to get Bosh (or whichever character you choose) to the end of the level, collecting targets and optional coins along the way. Collect enough coins to unlock new characters. The final unlocked character is pretty cool, actually. In any case, guide the rider to the end and keep him alive the whole time. It's a tall order, I know.

After every 5 levels, you get to view a cut scene, featuring Bosh saving the day from Chaz, a jerk bully who wants to be the better sledder. The movies also feature Bailey, a girl line rider. So yeah. There's a girl you can play as, too. The movies are actually quite cool. They are 3-D rendered, with a style similar to Jimmy Neutron. I was actually surprised at the production quality. Usually games like this don't have cool things like that.

In any case, the best part of the game is obviously free mode, where you can just draw lines all over and let Bosh (or Chaz or Bailey) ride them forever. Plus, you can make your own puzzle tracks and share them with friends over Wifi. Awesome! I'm surprised at how much flexibility there is in the drawing tool. You can draw freely, or use the curve tool, which lets you draw a line and then really fine-tune the curves (or straightness) in said line. Well done, I say.

The game isn't perfect, but it's pretty darn good. The music ranges from really good to really weird, so I usually just play with it off. Also, it would have been nice to have checkpoint flags in story mode, along with the ability to save replays or the whole track.

But really, other than that, the game has very few flaws. It's one of the cheaper DS titles, but still one of the better ones. There are games published by major production houses that are less fun that this. So, all in all, I think they did a great job and kept the classic Line Rider spirit of fun intact.

  • It's Line Rider!
  • Save and share crazy tracks
  • Cool cutscenes and a very good level editor
  • Kinda weird music
  • A couple of really hard, confusing levels
  • The physics can get slightly wonky at times
This game has earned a Blatantly Biased:

Monday, December 29, 2008

Happy Haulidays!

Well, Christmas is over, and now the tinsel comes down and the lights go out, but what we have left is still amazing... presents! And of course, many of those are awesome video games! Behold! My Holiday Stash!
  1. Dance Dance Revolution Hottest Party 2 (Wii)
  2. Quantum of Solace (Wii)
  3. Sam & Max Season 1 (Wii)
  4. Shaun White Snowboarding (Wii)
  5. Sonic Unleashed (Wii)
  6. Wii Music (Wii)
  7. Metal Slug 7 (DS)
  8. My Japanese Coach (DS)
  9. Goldeneye: Rogue Agent (GCN)
  10. Soul Calibur II (GCN)
  11. SSX Tricky (GCN)
  12. Earthworm Jim 3D (N64)
  13. 2000 Wii Points (1000 used for SBCG4AP Ep. 3)
So there you go. An awesome Christmas, plus awesome games to celebrate it with. The only one of those I've played so far is Wii Music, and I likes it mucho. Where else can you play F-Zero music in polka style? Or whatever style you feel like?

So that gives me plenty to work on this next few months. Which brings me to my next point: a new goal for 2009! The 2008 goal was smashed to bits, so I decided to up this one by quite a bit. And it's slightly different. Since I'll only be taking one class, I'll have more time for games at home, like the Gamecube and Wii, who have been neglected lately. In any case, my goal is to beat 50 games by the end of the semester, which is April 19th. So 50 by 4-19 is the new goal. I shall conquer it! Oh, and in case you were wondering, that goal starts now, not Jan. 1. So yeah. I have to beat a game about every 2 days instead of every 3 days. But I think I can do it. Huzzah!

So there you have it! New games, a new goal, and a new year! Oh, and as far as new year's resolutions, I have one: play Wii Fit and DDR a lot so I can stop getting fat. Yes! Happy December 29th!


Currently Playing: Wii Music (Wii), Excite Truck (Wii), Line Rider 2 Unbound (NDS)

Monday, December 22, 2008

Merry Christmas Everybody!

Hey all! It's only a few days until Christmas and I'm at my parents house with loads of games and people to play them with me. So don't expect any posts for a few days. In any case, have lots of fun, drive safely, and play lots of games. Merry Christmas!*

*If you are not Christian... then become one. Then that phrase will make sense.

Friday, December 19, 2008

108 in 2008 Completion: Part 5

And now we conclude our week-long look into a large number of games beaten in a relatively short amount of time. It comes out to about one game for every three days of the year. That's pretty schweet.

And now, I present to you, friends, the final game in the 108 in 2008 arsenal.

If you guessed that my last game would be a Mario game, you were WRONG! But if you guessed Ninja Turtles, then you hit it right on the head.

The final game I beat this year was Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles IV: Turtles in Time for SNES. I figured it would be an appropriate title to end the year on. It's fun, it's exciting, and it's TMNT. That's about as good as it gets.

TMNT IV takes everything that was great about TMNT 2 and 3 for NES, adds new moves and enemies, and throws in an extra dose of awesome. It's just as fun as its predecessors.

There are plenty of new moves in this game. For example, you can do a sort of donkey-kick-while launching-into-the-air type thing, which kills standard foot soldiers in one hit, but takes one slice of energy. There are also a few moves that happen semi-randomly. Sometimes your turtle will grab an enemy and then slam him on the ground back and forth, which is nice because it also kills any foot soldiers you slam him into. Also, sometimes the turtle will either launch the foot soldier way into the air, never to be seen again, or launch him at the screen, which is pretty cool.

Of course, you will see some of your standard issue TMNT bosses along the way. Baxter Stockman is back, The Rat King has a bone pick, and of course you'll see plenty of multi-colored and multi-talented foot grunts.

As per usual, you'll see pizzas lying around, which replenish your health. And of course, in 2-player, you'll be fighting to see who gets it. Also, there are pizza-box shaped bomb items, which make your turtle go into a crazy frenzy and kill everything in their path. Sweet!

Now, don't go thinking that this game left out the best part of the NES stages: the moving ones. In TMNT, I always loved playing level 7 because you were on rocket powered skateboards, which followed your every move. TMNT IV is no different. One level has you on a rocket powered surfboard, ripping it up in the sewers. Plus, there's a cool F-Zero-esque level that has you on another rocket powered board-type thingy. You don't have to steer or anything, but it looks cool.

In short, the game is loads of fun. It has great multiplayer, the sound and graphics are (mostly) well-done and the enemies are varied and plentiful. It makes a fitting end to this journey of 108 in 2008, and most importantly, it's a fun video game.

  • Classic TMNT beat-em-up action
  • Cool new bosses and levels
  • New moves
  • If you don't like TMNT, it may get monotonous*
This game has earned a Blatantly Biased:

So there you go. The end of the goal. Hooray!

Here are some interesting statistics about this year's journey:
  • There were 14 Mario games
  • There were 7 Sonic games
  • There were 5 Ninja Turtles games
  • There were 21 games beaten in March
  • There were only 2 games beaten in each of April, May, July and December (ouch!)
  • The system with the least games beaten: Game Boy Color: 1
  • The system with the most games beaten: Nintendo DS: 26
  • I was ahead of schedule more than twice as long as I was behind schedule (71%)
  • I was right on track clear up until June
  • 9 of the 11 SNES games were beaten in Q4
  • All 7 Virtual Boy games were beaten in September
  • The longest time I went without beating a game was 24 days
  • The most games I beat in one day was 5 (done twice, on March 20th and June 24th)
So there you have it. The end of a journey. Will 2009 hold any type of similar quest? Only time will tell...

Oh, and by the way... Merry Christmas!


Currently Playing: Line Rider 2 Unbound, WarioLand Shake It!, Trauma Center: New Blood

* If you don't like TMNT, there's something wrong with you.

Thursday, December 18, 2008

108 in 2008 Completion: Part 4

So. We're finally here. The last quarter of 2008. Where finishing this goal and passing my classes clashed together. No one knew if the goal would be completed. Except Mario. He knew.

So, starting out, we have TMNT 2: Battle Nexus for GBA! More proof that portable versions can outclass console versions of games. It's more like the classic TMNT games than the 80s, which is obviously a good thing. Plus, it has a racing mode similar to the racing mode on Kirby Nightmare in Dream Land. Fun times!

Moving right along, we've got Megaman Battle Network 5 Double Team DS. Long name… long game? Actually, that's kinda true. These Megaman Battle Network games are fun, I won't lie. But they seem to get longer and longer. This time around, I used cheats to get through it. That way I wouldn't have to go through hundreds of random battles to get to the end of the game. That would save me several hours, actually. But even with cheats enables, I only beat it a few hours faster than normal. It probably would have been about 30 hours otherwise. I can handle some games being 30 hours, but this is the 5th time through a Battle Network game, so 30 hours can get monotonous fast. Fortunately, I only have 1 more Battle Network game to beat, and I've conquered all 6. 10 bucks says you don't know anyone (besides me) who's done that.

In any case, the next fallen warrior of a game was one of the best games I have ever played. One that took longer than 30 hours and stayed fun the entire time. The Legend of Zelda: Wind Waker. Yes. The game I bought for myself nearly 3 years ago and has been sitting on my shelf since has finally been beaten. And it did not disappoint. It's certainly one of my favorite Zelda games. If I had to rank it among the ones I've played, I'd say it's… 3rd, right behind Twilight Princess, which is second only to Link's Awakening. So yeah, it's an amazing game. All the classic Zelda gameplay is there, and of course there are new items and weapons and characters and enemies and what not. Hoorah!

The roll of good games continues! Next we have N+, the sweet DS game based on the flash game N (featured here a few weeks ago). It has all the same good ol' run-around-and-don't-get-killed ninja action, plus a good level editor. The game does lack polish, but in the end, I would highly recommend it to anyone. Even you, grandma.

And the good games don't stop. Next we have a game that scored just as high as Elite Beat Agents. That's pretty dang good. It's another game with pretty much endless replay value. Looney Tunes B-Ball. This is, by far, the best basketball video game ever created. Even in the face of both NBA Jams and all three NBA Streets, Looney Tunes B-Ball stands supreme. It never, ever, ever, gets old. It's the game I go to when I want to relax, when I want to be excited, when I want to have a little friendly multiplayer. If you have a SNES, you need this game. If you don't have a SNES, you need a SNES. And then, you need this game. So go! Get it now!

Ok, so the fun games kinda level off here for a bit. First off, we have Megaman Battle Chip Challenge. They basically took the fighting part of the Battle Network games and made it its own game. It's pretty fun, but it gets so hard so fast, it loses its appeal very quickly. Fortunately, I have a Gameshark, so it's no sweat to break this thing's spirits. It's kind of fun, and I really like how the battle system is set up. It's just too hard. And we all know how much I hate games that are too hard. But I beat it. So no worries.

Moving on, we have Super Swing Golf. It was a launch game with the Wii and I bought it on sale. It's actually quite good as far as golf games go, especially since it relies on motion controls. One surprising thing: it's extremely short. Like… really short. I beat everyone in under 4 hours. Most golf games take at least 20 hours to beat the story mode. But considering my goal this year, I think that was actually kind of convenient. So yeah. If you can find it cheap, it's worth a buy.

And now we dip deeper in the crap pool. The SNES, while having some of the best games ever made, also has some of the worst games in existence. One word: Bill Laimbeer's Combat Basketball. But that's not the game I beat. It's Bulls vs. Blazers, which is also a crappy basketball game (thought admittedly not nearly as crappy). The only reason I have it (and many like it) is because I get them with my SNES when I bought it. Not my choice. They just came with it. Anyways, it's one of those games where there's no tutorial or anything. You just start playing and hope with enough practice, you can win the first game. Yeah, right. I was winning after the first quarter, and then the other team starting and cheating, and whaddya know, the power 'failed' right before the game ended. Hmm. I guess they forfeited. Yay!

Next we have Kung Fu for NES. Considered to be one of the semi-classic NES games, you run around and beat people up and see how far into an endless dojo hallway you can get. My favorite part: you can defeat enemies by kicking them in the groin. Totally awesome. And totally realistic, too! I'm pretty sure athletic cups go against the code of the ninja.

Anyways, next we have yet another disappointing 80s sports game. And I know people love this game. But it goes against my bane of video games: it's football. Don't hate me, but I'm talking about Tecmo Bowl. I will say that it is easily the best-looking and best-designed football game of the NES era. But that's like saying it's the least-stinkiest turd you'll be eating for dinner. One pro: it's really easy to catch passes (a problem with many football games). One con: it's really easy to have your passes stolen, which makes for serious frustration. It's not nearly as frustrating as NFL Street (don't ever, ever buy NFL Street. It will give you a coronary), but it's still a football video game. 'Nuff said.

Alright, so now we can talk about some good games again. Space Invaders Extreme! It's one of those classic remakes for a modern audience games. It's quite literally like Space Invaders on Acid. And I'm not talking hydrochloric. Your spaceship shoots lasers based on the beat of the music. Plus, it supports the rumble pack, which is cool. It's an extremely polished game, which is good. Some of the later levels are really, really hard, but all-in-all, it's a good play. Plus, it's a bargain bin title.

Next up, we have Bubble Bobble Double Shot, which is also a bargain bin title. Bubble Bobble is one of those games that I have to buy out of habit. It's my modus operandi. This one is pretty fun. It has some of the best music of modern Bubble Bobble games, and the gameplay is well done, too. My complaint? You can't start from where you left off. You have to go from the beginning. And while you can continue, your continues are limited, so unless you are really good, you'll never see the ending. But other than that, the game is well done. So there ya go!

Now we have a title that I remember from my childhood. Bubsy II for the SNES. I remember being impressed by the fluid animation and the wacky, insane minigames and level designs. What I didn't remember is how freakin' hard the game is. I beat it using save points on an emulator, but it's still quite difficult. When you're a kid, you just seem to enjoy the few levels you play, even though they're really hard. I don't think I ever beat more than 2 or 3 levels back then. In any case, it's pretty fun. A good dose of nostalgia, anyways.

Now for a rose among thorns. Though, I don't think Strong Bad would appreciate that analogy. SBCG4AP Episode 2: Strong Badia the Free! It's a cool game! The King of Town sets a ding-dong tax on all sent and received e-mails. Now he's gone too far. It's up to Strong Bad to keep the king from ruining Christmas!... I mean, his e-mails! This episode plays just like the original: weird crappy old-school game, make fun of Strong Sad, send e-mails… it's good times! Plus, there's a really cool, but kinda hard board-game-esque part near the end. I enjoyed it mucho. Can't wait for episodes 3-5!

Next, we have what is quite possibly one of the most hilarious, yet most frustrating games ever made. Earthworm Jim 2. I love Earthworm Jim. He's hilarious, the games are ridiculous, and the cartoons are golden (but that's a discussion for another day). But this game… it feels like it tears me in half. I wanna laugh, but I'm so frustrated with the ridiculously difficult gameplay that I wanna scream. AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!! There. I screamed. I feel much better now.

And now for something completely stupid. Roger Clemens' MVP Baseball. Another SNES turd on a stick. You know how in baseball games, you press right + A to throw the ball, cause the D-pad kinda resembles a baseball diamond? It's an unwritten law, I think. Well, this game shows the point of view from the outfield, so when you want to throw to first, you have to press right + A, but first base is on your left. It's backwards!! What the crap! That's all I'm gonna say, because that's all that needs to be said.

Ok, so Sonic Mega Collection. This is a great deal. $20 gets you like 10 Sonic games, plus 2 difficult Vectorman games. But it has Sonic 3, the best one to date on my opinion. The others are good, too, though. This one comes highly recommended!

Next we have Viewtiful Joe 2. It's a lot of the same run around, slow down time, beat the crap out of robots style, and that's not a bad thing. Plus, you can play as Sylvia, Joe's girlfriend. She has other powers, like the ability to hit something 3 times instantaneously. Cool! Makes for some difficult, but great puzzles. It's pretty hard, just like its predecessor, but it's still quite fun. Yay for Joe!

Now it gets interesting. The game I am about to show you is the 100th game I beat this year. And it's a good one! Mario Party 5! Everyone loves Mario Party, right? I would say that this one is one of the better ones. It's better than 4, and way better than the first one (but probably all of them are better than the first one). In any case, it takes the same cool Mario Party gameplay and adds cool new games. Plus it has great side games, like beach volleyball and a sweet board/card game thing. I likes it mucho!

The next game I beat was actually another Mario Party game, but this one is quite different. It's Mario Party advance, which is kind of like a mix between WarioWare and Mario Party. It has a heavy 1-player influence, which is good. You go around and help people with their problems by beating mini-games. Cool! It's not too-too hard, either. I enjoyed it much much.

And now for more crap. The Lion King for SNES. The movie was great. And for some reason, I was under the impression that the game was great, too. There is no way a kid could beat this game. No. Way. I know kids have more patience than I do, and I know kids are smart, but there is simply no way a kid could beat this. I can't beat this stupid game. Wanna know why? Cause it's not worth beating. This is another one that came with my SNES. And I'm glad, because I would be upset if I paid money for this travesty.

Ok, now that that's out of my system, let's talk about a fun game. Kirby's Dream Course! It's a golf game, with a Kirby spin. You can copy powers from enemies and use them to get to the hole. For example, rock power lets you stop right where you are, which makes it a little easier to drop in the hole. This is by far the hardest Kirby game ever, but it's pretty fun. Multiplayer is probably more fun, cause then it doesn't matter how bad you do. So yeah. Good game. Go download it on Virtual Console.

Alright, coming closer to the end now. Next we have Wii Fit. I've owned it since like May, but because of school I never got around to unlocking all the activities. Well, one day I decided to unlock everything. And I was pretty sweaty when I was done. But I did it. And it was good. Wii Fit is pretty cool. I'd much rather do the snowboarding than the yoga, but if I had been playing the game every day since I got it, I'd be in much better shape right now. In any case, I think the game is fun, and next semester I hope to use it fairly often.

Getting warmer… next we have Donkey Kong Country 3. This is a cool game. I really like the style of the SNES DK Country games. They look cool, they play cool, and they feel cool. Like ice on your butt. Or something. In any case, it's a fun, if difficult game. I used save points, so it wasn't quite as hard, but even so, it took me all day to beat. So there's plenty of meat in there. Which is good. Meat is good.

And now, the grand finale. Game #106: Metal Slug Anthology. It's a compilation of 7 Metal Slug games. It only cost me $17. Holy crap, that's a good deal. Metal Slug is really cool. I hadn't played until someone showed it to me in an old arcade in El Salvador. And I was hooked. You run around, get huge guns, and beat the ever-loving tar out of everything in your sight. And it is awesome. The graphics are extremely fluid, the bosses are extremely huge, and the fun factor is through the roof. Hooray for fun! If you have a Wii, you owe it to yourself to get this game. If you don't have a Wii, then get off your girl bike and go buy a Wii. Then you owe it to yourself to get Metal Slug Anthology.

So close I can taste it… Game #107: Contra 4. This game is so, so, so, so, so hard. BUT... it's not in a bad way. Contra is known for being hard. But this game makes it bearable. You play through an intense jungle, then move on to a decrepit laboratory, then you fight off a giant robot while hanging on to a giant missile. Pure adrenaline. That's what Contra is all about. But that's not even the best part. There's challenge mode, where you have to get to the end of a level in a certain time limit. Or you have only 15 bullets and you have to get to the end somehow. Plus, the best part is you can unlock the original NES Contra. Wow. Oh, and don't forget the second NES Contra game. Double way. It's a fitting tribute to the great NES classic of 15 years ago, and it's an extremely polished funfest that all DS owners. Need. Yeah, I'm gonna tell you to buy this game, and a DS if you don't have one. Here we go: Buy this game. If you don't have a DS, buy one. Then buy this game. Dangit.

And now, we shall find out what the final game of the 108 in 2008 goal is… as soon as Friday comes. BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!


Currently Playing: Line Rider 2 Unbound, Animal Crossing City Folk, Warioland Shake It!

108 in 2008 Completion: Part 3

Sorry for the late entrance, fair readers. I slept in. Until 2. Well, almost. Oh, and then Word decided to not actually save my document. So… here we go again…

The first game to be beaten in this quarter was… Gunstar Super Heroes for GBA! It's a classic remake of run-n-gun Metal Slug-style action. Yahoo! All in all, I must say it's a fun game. It's not too hard (with the exception of the stupid end boss), it looks great, and it's just plain crazy. Cool!

Speaking of guns and explosions, the next game was Metroid Fusion. It's a Metroid game, so it's pretty hard. But it's cool. It has all the classic Metroid elements. Big guns, huge bosses… but it's done in a way that's not just violent to be violent. Go go Samus!

Coming up next is Worms Blast! It's one part Bust A Move, one part Worms, and two parts crazy. You use classic worms weapons to destroy colored bubbles within the time limit. It's done quite well, but there are parts where you wonder how anyone could beat the game without being a nerd. One wonders indeed…

Alright, so enough with the violence! Our next game is Yoshi's Story. Instead of protecting Baby Mario like in Yoshi's Island, you're simply on a quest to stop Baby Bowser from turning everything into a storybook. Sounds lame. But it's not! The graphics are a neat pseudo-3D and the music is fun to listen to. Usually Yoshi annoys me (in Smash Bros, Mariokart, etc.) But I gotta admit. This game is fun.

Well, that's enough of the fun games for now. Next we have Sonic Battle for GBA. It's one of those games where the designers decided to make it double hard just so some people would enjoy it more. But really, all they're doing is making other people enjoy it less. It's like this: You play as Sonic. You have to fight a bunch of people, and then they join your team. But instead of beating them once, you have to beat them all twice… in a row. I kid you not. It's like making a football team win the [extremely copyrighted phrase goes here] twice in the same day. Dumb!

But anyways, on with the better games. Next up is Nitrobike, the highly under-rated extreme MotoX game. While I do agree that the game has a few large flaws, it's still a lot of fun, if nothing else for the bowling and online play. Plus, you can explode your bike! That's pretty cool.

Speaking of extreme, how about a little Mario Strikers Charged? That's soccer for those of you unfamiliar. Take Mario, add soccer, throw in a dash of awesome, and there ya go. My only complaint? Too hard. It's a lot of fun, especially multiplayer, but yeah, it's difficult.

Alright, so this quarter has an interesting stat: I beat 3 Wario games. I didn't even plan it that way. It just kinda happened. First, I played through Wario: Master of Disguise. It's a lot like the old Wario platformers, except that you can draw on new costumes that give Wario new powers, such as fire breath or low gravity. Then I played WarioWare Smooth Moves. It is by far the funniest game I have ever played. It is the wackiest, most ridiculous, retardedest, but hilariously awesome game you'll ever play. After that, I played the Gamecube Warioware. It is also highly hilarious. The main difference is that multiplayer on the GCN version is much better. All three of these games are fun, though. So yeah.

Alright, so there's another group of 'similar' games this quarter. These are the type of games that everyone needs to play. They help video games as a while branch out into new, creative markets. The first of these is Professor Layton and the Curious Village. You talk to villagers, solve their puzzles, get clues, unravel mysteries. Sounds strange, yes, but there are 150-some-odd puzzles and they use the touch screen brilliantly, such as circling the correct item out of a group, or drawing a line through a maze. Can't wait for a sequel! Next on cool unique games we have Boom Blox. It's Jenga mixed with explosions. And who doesn't love exploding Jenga, right? You use the Wii remote to throw bowling balls, bombs, or other random heavy items at teetering towers to make them fall. Sounds awesome, no? Trust me, it is. Ok, so moving right along… Trauma Center. Easily one of the best games on the DS. I got the sequel when it came out. And it did not disappoint! You get plenty more of the write-your-name-with-the-scalpel, inject-gallons-of-morphine, suture-nipples-to-belly-buttons action, plus you can do it the right way if you want! (You get further in the game if you do it right, I found out.) In any case, these games all show how awesome the DS and Wii can be with the right minds behind the controls. Here's hoping for more awesome new game types!

Well, this year had a seemingly endless supply of great games, and the downloadable games on Wii were no exception. Particularly entertaining is Strong Bad's Cool Game for Attractive People. I played the first episode. Classic Homestar Runner humor? Check. Endless witty lines from Strong Bad? Check. Ability to insult and embarrass citizens of Free Country USA? Check, check, check. Here's looking forward to later episodes!

Well, another game I beat was Mario & Sonic at the Olympic Games. Again! Just kidding. This time I beat the DS one. It's still fun, but it's not quite as fun as the Wii version. The Wii one seems more accurate, probably because you actually swing your arms to swim and run. It does have some cool events, though. Like cycling. And ping-pong. But if you do play this game, make for dang sure you have a screen protector. And use a good stylus. This game's a screen breaker.

Next on the itinerary is Sonic Gems Collection. It's a compilation of some old Game Gear Sonic games, plus a couple of extras thrown in for good measure. I used to own most of the games for the Game Gear back in the day, so this was a good dose of nostalgia for me. Some of the ones I hadn't played are pretty hard, but the game does let you save and load at any point, so that's nice.

This year, something awesome happened. I managed to get my paws on a Virtual Boy, Nintendo's highly underrated, but very, very fun gaming device. You put your head up the visor and everything looks 3D. It's all very cool. I also got a bunch of games with it. The first one that I beat was Galactic Pinball. It is, in my humble yet correct opinion, the best pinball video game ever, and the best game for the Virtual Boy. Enough said. The next game is Mario's Tennis. It's a fun little tennis game, and you can play as Toad! Yay! It does lack multiplayer, and it does get old after a while, but it's cool.

VB game #3 is nester's Funky Bowling. It looks pretty cool, but I've played better bowling games on my phone. Seriously. But, you can take turns in multiplayer. That's pretty cool. Anyways, next we have Panic Bomber, a puzzle game starring Bomberman. This is one of the more fun VB games, plus it looks extra cool. It's kind of like Wario's Woods, for those familiar.

So, getting to the bottom of the VB games… Virtual League Baseball and T&E Golf. Both cool-looking sports games. And both of them too hard. Virtual League Baseball looks amazing. But the computer obviously spends all its time playing in its mom's basement, cause it's too good to beat. And T&E Golf requires about 10 button presses each time you swing. Yeah… that can get annoying. In any case, the last VB game is Vertical Force, a space shooter that looks really cool, but can get old after a while. But I don't feel bad that these games aren't that fun. They were cheap and they're in 3D! Isn't that all games needs nowadays anyways?

Well, there were a couple of GBA games in the latter part of this quarter. The first was Jazz Jackrabbit. The original Jazz games for DOS were tons of fun. They were a lot like Sonic games, but you had guns. Double win. This GBA version is quite a bit different, but it's still fun. It's like if someone asks you if you like to eat at Wendy's and at Dairy Queen. Of course you say both! The other GBA game is Worms World Party. Obviously, it can't compare to the PC version. But still, they did a decent job of getting classic worms gameplay onto the tiny, but doable GBA hardware. I enjoyed it.

Ok, so finishing up here, we have Mario Super Sluggers. It takes the awesome gameplay of the GCN version and adds pretty good motion controls. And, it's not too terribly hard. It's way over-the-top, too, which makes it really fun. I would highly recommend it.

Then, to finish up, we have Kirby Super Star Ultra. It's like the original, only better. Basically, it's a mix of some short versions of Kirby games all rolled into one. Plus, if a friend has the game you can play at the same time. How cool is that? Additionally, it has some of the classic mini-games built in. I submit that this game is coolness!

Ok, so there you go! Only a few more to go and my documentation of my goal has been completed. Feel free to leave comments or compliments. Also feel free to send Wii points or gift certificates. Or candy. Candy is good, too.


Currently Playing: Trauma Center New Blood, Wario Land Shake It!, Line Rider 2 Unbound

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

108 in 2008 Completion: Part 2

April is a good month. My wife and I were married in April, spring comes in April, and of course with spring comes spring break, which gives me lots of time for cool games. And, as you will see, some crappy games, too. Again, click on the picture to view in full-size.

The first game that was beaten this quarter was Commander Keen for Game Boy Color. I love the Game Boy Color. It had some incredible and amazing games, present company excluded. Commander Keen for DOS was amazing. This one… not so much. I say steer clear! Luckily for me, it was cheap.

Anyways, following that unfortunate disaster, I got the chance to play Warioware Twisted for GBA. Ho. Ly. Crap. This. Game. Rules. Seriously. As you may know, Warioware involves a rapid succession of microgames, each lasting only a few seconds, or less. This version has a tilt sensor built-in to the cartridge, which lets you turn and twist the GBA to make things happen. Turn an old man upside down and make his hat fall off. Twist the knob on a quarter machine and make a prize come out. Drive a car around. All without using any buttons. Purely hilarious.

The next game on my list was Megaman Battle Network 4. I enjoy the Megaman Battle Network games, I really do. It's just that so little changes in each one (besides the story), it starts to become monotonous. Hooray for cheat codes!

Following that, I obtained a copy of Worms Open Warfare 2 for the DS. It's worms! For the DS! Awesome! And it's done really well! Also awesome! Then I played through Starfox Command. It's pretty fun. It lacks the 'punch' most Starfox games have, but it's still pretty entertaining. A few weeks after that, I also played through Starfox 64 for the first time. While the graphics are better on the new version, the 64 game is clearly better, even though it's quite a bit harder. Both fun games, tho!

And then… something amazing happened. Super Smash Bros. Brawl came out. To be perfectly frank, there has yet to be released a better game for the Wii. It is purely amazing. (Nearly) everything in the game is polished to perfection. I can't in good conscience give it a perfect 10, mainly because Captain Falcon is still the only character from F-Zero in the game. The Samurai Goroh assist trophy doesn't count. I'm not afraid to give the next Smash Bros. a 9/10 or less if Nintendo doesn't wise up! Come on! Where's the F-Zero love?! Apart from that, it's an incredible game. Hooray!

Anyways, next on the list is True Swing Golf, a fairly simply, but quite entertaining golf game. The physics are good, the courses are fun, and the best part? You can golf in the snow. That just plain rules. After that, I got a hold of a cheap copy of Bust a Move DS. Bust a Move is fun. The puzzle mode on this game is ridiculously hard sometimes. But it's fun.

Wow. We're only now getting into May. Let's speed it up a bit, eh? The first game in May was Looney Tunes: Duck Amuck. Its premise? Drive Daffy Duck insane. Put dynamite under the piano keys. Paint him like Duck Dodgers and then use a disintegration ray on him. Or just konk him on the head. Cool! Then I played TMNT 3 for the DS. It's funny how the portable versions of games like TMNT are superior to their much-more-expensive-to-make console brethren. That's why I've always said that gameplay will ALWAYS trump everything else, especially graphics.

This quarter, I beat 2 Mariokart games: Mariokart Double Dash (which I had played a lot, but didn't actually own until a few months prior) and Mariokart Wii. Both of them are loads of fun. I'm not sure which is better, because they are both amazing. IGN gave Double Dash a 7.9 out of 10. Even though it was the second-best selling GCN title (right behind Smash Bros. Melee). Did they even play the game? In any case, it's just more proof that IGN is willing to give ratings based on who pays them more.

But I digress. Next on the list is Kirby Super Star for SNES. It's like a bunch of short Kirby games rolled into one. It's a lot of fun, but it's descendant (which shall be talked about later in the week) is more fun in my opinion.

Now comes some more crap. I bought a Game Gear for cheap and the games that came with it are stupid and dumb and ridiculous. Jurassic Park. Ooh, running from scary 8-bit dinosaurs. And then there's Evander Holyfield's Real Deal boxing. I think by Real Deal, he actually meant Total Load. Seriously. The game sucks.

Fortunately, the next few games take that stinky bad taste out of my video game playing mouth. First off is Chibi-Robo. I love Chibi-Robo! This time it's the DS version. It's similar to the GCN game, but this time you're cleaning a park instead of a house. You plant flowers, build sidewalks, etc, etc. I will say that there is a distinct "green" message in the game. But to be honest, I don't care. Cause the game is loads of fun. Definitely worth playing multiple times.

Then came Super Paper Mario. It's a mix of the classic Mario platforming we all know and love, and the fun Mario RPG elements. While it's not quite as compelling as the original Paper Mario games, it still has a lot of fun packed in there.

And now for another innovative DS title. Drawn to Life lets you draw your own character, your own weapons, your own platforms… the list goes on and on. The game itself is quite easy, and it's not very hard to beat all the bosses, but the fact that you can customize almost everything makes it worthwhile.

Another great DS title follows: Castlevania Portrait of Ruin. This game's predecessor was incredible. It was very hard, but it was amazingly fun. This one follows the same type of run-around-and-destroy-monsters type gameplay, but it also lets you switch between two different characters at any time. It makes for some good strategy. While I say it's not as good as the first one, mainly because it's the same type of thing, it's still a lot of fun.

Ok, so now we're nearing the bottom. Don't give up yet! First of all, I beat the third Phoenix Wright game, the second this year. Cool! It's as fun as the second one, and maybe even more fun. The stories are very exciting and tense. I like it! I hope they make another Phoenix Wright game, to be honest. I love Apollo Justice as much as anyone, but Phoenix Wright just has a certain charm to it.

Anyways, the next game was Pokemon Red. I'm not a fan of the Pokemon games, but this one was actually surprisingly fun. Then I played Sonic Rush Adventure. It's actually very well done. There are missions to complete, and you can reach the same level of insane speed as the original games. It's definitely underrated.

Then I decided it was time for a little retro action. Or lack thereof. I played Slalom for NES first. It's actually pretty fun. You ski down a hill and try not to run over snowmen and babies. I kid you not. Then I played Mario is Missing, also for the NES. And I will admit that this is by far the worst Mario game I have ever played. It is extremely confusing, it's extremely retarded, and it's extremely weird that Nintendo would let someone else make a game with Mario without their help. Cause it sucks. To be honest, I didn't actually beat it. But after 5 minutes, I felt like I'd rather glue my butt cheeks together.

Alright, so rounding out Q2 are Sonic the Hedgehog 2 for the Genesis (which is pretty good, not as good as 3), and Viewtiful Joe Double Trouble for DS. Viewtiful Joe is just plain cool. And while some of the puzzles are really hard to figure out, the game packs so much style and pizzazz, it's worth taking the time. A good game to mark the half-way point!

Ok, so if you're still awake, let me just say that this has been fun. Half way there! Yahoo! What could be in store for the rest of the year's games?... Stay tuned to find out!*


Currently Playing: Polarium Advance, Metroid Prime 2, Megaman 9

* That means come back tomorrow and read what crap I write.

Monday, December 15, 2008

108 in 2008 Completion: Part 1

Yes, you read that right. The nigh-unreachable goal has been conquered. How, you ask? I do not know. I only know why. Because I had to.

Since the completion last night, I have pondered on the goal and taken a look back at the plethora of games I have passed through. Take a walk with me now.

Before I explain, see how many characters in this picture you can identify. If you can name more than I can, you can run the blog. Also, click on the picture to see the full-size version.

Look at that beast. It's an amalgamation of most of the games I beat from January through March. The first game I beat in 2008 was Phoenix Wright: Justice for All. It's the second chapter in the Phoenix Wright trilogy. And, of course, it is a lot of fun. It doesn't have quite the punch the first one had, but it's still exciting and fun.

Following that, I played through Mario & Sonic at the Olympic Games, the official Nintendo 2008 Olympic Video Game, and also the first game featuring Sonic & Mario together. It's not quite the explosion of awesome you might expect from a Sonic vs. Mario game, but it's still a lot of fun. Also, be prepared to have extremely achy shoulder and back muscles afterwards. You're not gonna beat Sonic lying down.

You can see the Wii Zapper in the middle of the bottom there. It came with the awesome Link's Crossbow Training game. While the design is somewhat strange, it works well, and the game is extremely fun. Kinda hard, but very fun. Sequel, anyone?

Following that, I played through a few games that should have been better. First was the TMNT movie game, which was still fun, but should have been better. Then I finished Mario & Luigi Superstar Saga, which should have been much better. Anyone who thinks it's as good as Paper Mario is an idiot and should have all their video games taken away.

The next game I beat is the second-best Zelda game ever. Seriously! Twilight Princess is amazing in every way. It is only slightly less fun than Link's Awakening for the Game Boy. And that's saying something. It has everything a Wii game needs: fun, good use of motion controls, and also fun.

I also finished Super Monkey Ball Banana Blitz. The main game is fun (except for the boss battles), and a few of the mini-games are good, too. But seriously. You can't expect to have FIFTY mini-games that are all fun. Even Mario Party doesn't have ALL good games (even though they are mostly good). I'd say maybe 10. If you're lucky. Which you're not. Unless you are… Ponder that for a while.

Anyways, Q1 2008 was not all broken expectations. I played through the short but fun Yoshi Topsy-Turvy. Why are Yoshi games almost always too short? Then I played the awesome and more awesome Trauma Center Second Opinion. I'm surprised how well the game works with the Wii remote. There are a couple of not-so-smooth moments, but for the most part, they did a good job. I need more!

After conquering a couple of dumb and lame games from the 80s, I had the extreme privilege of playing and completely conquering Elite Beat Agents, the best DS game in existence. This goal was worth beating for this game alone. It's just that good. But the greatness didn't stop there. I also played through the GCN version of Chibi-Robo, the under-sold and under-appreciated tiny robot. Poor guy. I can't wait until people appreciate you so we can see more of you!

Believe it or not, I actually beat two Zelda games in one quarter. The second was Link to the Past, the SNES classic. While it is still fun, I didn't enjoy it as much as many others did. Maybe because I played it after Twilight Princess. That's a hard act to follow.

Following that, I played the very entertaining Hotel Dusk: Room 215 for DS. It's kind of like an interactive novel. And it's fun. It's not as good as Trace Memory (made by the same people), but it's still very entertaining. Then came TMNT 2: Battle Nexus. This one is made for 4-players. Which gives it a pretty serious problem. If you play on 1-player, you still face the same difficulty that 4-people would face. Talk about unfair. Definitely more fun with more people.

You can probably see Megaman in the picture there. I played 10 of his games this quarter. What?! Yeah!! But it's not like you think. I played Megaman Anniversary Collection, which gives you rapid-fire. So it's a little easier. But I still beat all the games. Awesome!

An amazing thing happened in March of this year. I managed to obtain a copy of DDR Mario Mix. A feat in and of itself. The game does not disappoint in any way. It is incredibly fun, incredibly tiring, and just plain awesome. This is another one of those games that's worth getting a Gamecube (or Wii) for.

Rounding out the first 27 games was Donkey Konga 2, Picross DS, Sonic and the Secret Rings, and Billy Hatcher & the Giant Egg. Donkey Konga 2 is fun, but not quite as fun as the first. Still good, tho. The others are good games. Picross is the only one worth playing after you beat it.

The final game for the Q! was Mario Party 8. Of course it's gonna be something awesome! While not as perfect as Mario Party 3, it still has some great games and loads of fun. Plus, it has something you can't do in Mario Party 3. You can play as Toad! Amazing!

So there you have it. The first quarter of the conquering of the 108 in 2008 goal of the universe time. Stay tuned this week to see more games, including much crappier ones!


Currently Playing: Animal Crossing: City Folk, Line Rider 2: Unbound, NBA Street v2

Thursday, December 11, 2008

Six Slices of Amazing

I love pie. Not just 'cause it tastes good. 'Cause it feels good. You wanna know the only thing that would be more awesome than pie? A pie that had a different flavor for each slice. Wow. I should start on that right away. But I digress.

If there was a pie with six flavors and each flavor represented something awesome, then consider this post that pie. Behold! Six awesome things!

The DS and Wii. Yes, they share a slice. But it is one cool, sweet, minty slice. Like toothpaste, I guess.

Contra 4: You can unlock NES Contra. Ho. Lee. Crap. Awesome.

This guy. He puts cool drawings (some of which are Nintendo-related) on his kids' lunch bags. Schweet.

Homestar Runner. And those Strong Bad games he (co-) stars in. Hopefully Season 2 will be Homestar Runner's Sweet Egg for Bread and Witch's Brew.

The new TMNT fighting game. It's coming out around this time next year. And some of the people that worked on Smash Bros. are working on it. Kewl.

And the most awesome slice of this pie? There's only TWO WEEKS until Christmas. That means two weeks until an all-night party of grape soda, Ritz crackers, and an all-night party of pure Nintendo. It doesn't get much better.

So there ya go. Now I have to go and study. Just 2 days left, just 2 days left, just 2 days left...


Currently Playing: Contra 4, Animal Crossing: City Folk, Polarium Advance

Monday, December 8, 2008

On the Contra-ary

Everyone loves Contra. Blowing up enemy soldiers and aliens since 1987™. But it kind of faded in the shadows after the SNES version came out. Fortunately for us, a retro revival of sorts has been taking place. Classic games are being remade and/or repackaged for audiences old and new alike.

Contra 4 is a DS game that came out a year or two ago. I didn't get it when it came out, but my lovely wife managed to get me a copy for my birthday this year. As you all know, I am extremely busy and awesome. Therefore, it can take me a while to get to a game. But last night, I decided to give ol' Contra 4 a try.

What I find was surprising, and in a good way. It is essentially good old-fashioned NES-style blow-the-crap-out-of-everything gameplay, mixed with slick new graphics. BAM! What a combo. Right in the face. It is simultaneously mind-blowing and entertaining.

Anyone familiar with Contra (the rest of you, repent!) knows that the series is notorious for being ridiculously difficult. Naturally, this one is no exception. There are nine levels to conquer. But don't go thinking it'll take but a few minutes to beat. You'll be lucky to last that long. The game does have multiple difficulties, so you can start easy enough and work your way up. And work you will.

To give you an idea of how different the difficulties are, think of it this way: Easy is like holding a large book in your hand with your arm extended. It starts out easy enough, but it gets harder to maintain. Hard is like holding a riding lawnmower in your hand with your arm extended. It starts out nearly impossible and you'll be lucky to come away with your fingers intact.

In all seriousness, the game has many strong points. It's Contra. That's really all it needs. Plus, it has ridiculously huge bosses and insanely tricky levels. Plus, there's more to the game than that. Once you beat the game for the first time, you unlock challenge mode. You get 40 challenges, most of which are insanely difficult by themselves. As you beat challenges, you unlock bonus materials. Some of the kinda cool unlockables include new characters (who don't change the gameplay at all), box art of old Contra games, etc. Some of really cool unlockables include the original NES Contra.

Wait, what? Seriously? Contra on the go? RAD! And the fun doesn't stop there. Beat some more challenges and you can get Super C, Contra's sequel, also for NES. Two entire Contra games. With the Konami code and all the retro awesomeness intact. You see, this is where the game really shines. More games need things like this.

I was surprised to find out that the game only sold 200,000 copies. That's too bad, really. The DS is an incredible machine with some incredible games. And if people don't buy these awesome games, companies won't make them anymore. But I digress.

All in all, the game is a lot of fun. Hard mode, in my opinion, is too hard. But some people like it that way. And I don't have to beat it on Hard to unlock original Contra. In fact, you don't gain anything by beating Hard instead of Easy. I love that.

  • Classic Contra gameplay
  • Slick, hand-drawn graphics
  • Incredible unlockables
  • TWO built-in NES games!
  • Too hard
  • Sometimes the 'dead-area' between the screens gets in the way
  • Some of the challenges are merciless
  • Also, it's really hard
This game has earned a Blatantly Biased:

This is the 107th game to be beaten this year. What could be the final game?...

Friday, December 5, 2008

I've got the music in me!!

Recently, you've probably all noticed a trend of music and rhythm games flooding the market. Especially this weird game called Guitar Hero. Heard of it? Anyways, Guitar Hero is not for everyone (an entire game of just Aerosmith music... really?), but there are plenty of other music games out there that let you bust a move without playing a plastic guitar with rainbow buttons.

Dance Dance Revolution (GCN) - This one predates Guitar Hero (and similar games) by a long time. As you probably know, you tap your feet on the dance pad to the rhythm of the song. Get the beats right to get new songs, etc. This game is fun. You don't have to know how to dance to play Dance Dance Revolution. You want proof? I can play DDR. So there. My personal favorite version is DDR Mario Mix for Gamecube. Expensive and hard to find nowadays, but fun.

Donkey Konga (GCN) - If there's an under appreciated music game, it's this one. Released for the Gamecube in about 2004, it had you slapping DK bongos to the beat of loads of different tunes. The song from the Chips Ahoy commercials, anyone? Donkey Konga and its great sequel Donkey Konga 2 were great party games and it's a stinkin' shame they quit making them. They did release a 3rd one in Japan, but it never made it here to the states. In any case, this is a must-play.

Wii Music (Wii) - This one looks cool. It's a way to let everyone in the family play a music game, but you don't necessarily have to know how to read or play music to do so. You can change the instruments to a song, too. The game features loads of instruments like the clarinet, cello, drumset, whatever. Plus, you don't need plastic instruments to play. You may hear people say, "But it's not Guitar Hero." WELL, NO DUH!!! I coulda told you that. To be fair, I haven't played it yet (hopefully Dec. 25th changes that), but it's made by Nintendo. Case closed.

Electroplankton (DS) - I don't actually own this one (yet [surprisingly]), but I have played it. It's less of a 'follow-along' music game and more of a fee-style/do whatever the crap you want to do kind of game. There are different 'planktons' on the screen that you tap or move around and they made different sounds. It's a very cool, very entertaining, and very hard to find game.

Elite Beat Agents (DS) - I don't care what anyone says. Elite Beat Agents is the best music game out there today. And that's saying something. You tap and drag icons on the screen to the beats of several classic songs, many of which are superior mixes to the originals. I still find it incredible how much fun, emotion, and hilarity they crammed in this game. It's one of those games that's worth buying a DS for.

And with that, I'm off to tap beats to the addictive 'Jumpin' Jack Flash.'

Have another music game that's awesome? Let us know in the comments.


Currently Playing: Elite Beat Agents, Animal Crossing: Wild World, Super Princess Peach

Farce Gorm Fruity

Friday means new Flash game! Yay!

This week, have a great time driving a tire in the game Wone (which I believe is Wheel/One put together). Not a car. Just a tire. You have to climb walls and collect oil drums and stars. Sounds stupid. It's not! Enjoy!

Click here to play Wone!

Monday, December 1, 2008

Happy December!

Holy crap it's been a long time! I hope that everyone had a safe and enjoyable Thanksgiving holiday and that you also bought loads of cheap games over the weekend. I know I did.

I had the whole week off from school. Which meant, of course... VIDEO GAMES!!! In fact, I've made some significant progress on my 108 in 2008 goal in the last couple of weeks. Since the 18th of November, I have conquered TWELVE games, including SBCG4AP Ep. 2, Mario Party Advance, and Viewtiful Joe 2. In fact, I beat 3 games on 21st alone. That means, for this year, my list of beaten games has reached an astounding... 106. That's right, only 2 more games to go and I shall beat my goal! Hoo-hah! 'Twill be a glorious day indeed.

In any case, I've started quite a few games recently and I would like to share with you some of the good and bad things of these gameses.

First of all, let's talk about Animal Crossing: City Folk. The newest iteration of the strangely addicting pull-weeds and buy-furniture sim is a lot of fun. It's basically the same ol' good ol' Animal Crossing we all know and love. Plus, now you can go the city, which is a small area outside the town where you can buy fancy furniture, go to an auction, or get your shoes shined. And get this: Cap'n is the bus driver! Cool! Plus, you can go see Dr. Shrunk every day and get a new emotion. Awesome!

One thing I like is how they took some good things from the Gamecube and DS versions and mixed them. Like presents. They appear anywhere in town like in the GCN version, but you still have to shoot them like in the DS version. Plus, they brought back the cool bi-level town design from the cube AC.

All in all, it's still a lot of fun. My only complaint: all the music is the same as the DS one. I was hoping they'd write something new for this one, but there's not much new stuff. Ah well. At least you can listen to Totakeke twice per Saturday instead of once. So yeah... so far, so good.

Another game I started recently is Mercury Meltdown: Revolution, also for Wii. It's one part Monkey Ball, one part Marble Madness, five parts awesome. You tilt the Wii remote to control a blob of Mercury and guide it to the finish line. There are different floors, such as a sticky floor and a slick floor. There are different modifiers, such as a heater that makes the mercury break up easier, and a cooler, which makes it stick together better. And, of course, there are mini-games, which are kinda cool, but not nearly as fun as the main game.

To be honest, I'm kinda surprised at well done the game is. It controls very well. It doesn't get as out-of-control as Monkey Ball can get, either. Plus, there's over 150 levels. Schweet! And don't expect all of these levels to be drop-dead easy, either. One level I played yesterday took me about 25 minutes to beat. But it was cool. It's one of those games that you can really get into, but it's also set up so you can play for a few minutes at a time and still make progress. Awesome. All in all, it works well. The included mini-games aren't completely stupid, but what can you do, right?

So there you are. Some foist impweshuns. Will it be one of these games that ends up being the straw that breaks the 1o8 Camel's back, or will it be something else? The answer shall be revealed soon. Stay tuned!


Currently Playing: Animal Crossing: City Folk, Mercury Meltdown Revolution, Apollo Justice: Ace Attorney

Friday, November 21, 2008

Friday Game Flash!

Time for more weekend entertainment! This time, we visit the awesome, yet difficult game simply titled N. You control a ninja as you scale walls and open doors to find your way out of crazy levels. Sounds simple. But it's not.

There are missile turrets and laser guns and homing robots and all kinds of things that would like to keep you from reaching your goal. And they probably will. But it's a fun game all around, with tons and tons of levels.

Instructions: Be ninja, jump high, dodge hazards, collect gold, open doors, escape!

Click Here to play N!

Thursday, November 20, 2008

Hippy Barthday, Nintendo stuff!

It's bird-day time! That's right! Nintendo's cash cows are getting older! Cute!

First, let's congratulate the Nintendo DS on its 4th birthday. It was born on November 19, 2004. A grand 4 years indeed. In that time period, it has sold an incredible 85 million units. Wow. That's awesome.

The DS has always been awesome in my mind. I was a little surprised to see it when they announced it. Two screens? What the pfargtl? But it only took one play to get me hooked. Kirby Canvas Curse was the first game I played (aside from the Metroid demo included with the system) and it was amazing. Then, hit after hit after hit graced the system. Mariokart, Trauma Center, Phoenix Wright... the list goes on and on and will probably continue that way for some time. In fact, New Super Mario Bros. is on track to break the previously-thought-to-be-unbreakable record of 18 million units set by Super Mario Bros. 3. To prove how awesome the DS is, I now have more DS games than any other system I own. Awesome!

But let's not forget about Nintendo's little white waggle box. The good ol' Wii is turning 2 tomorrow! Tender! No one, and I mean NO ONE thought this thing would be where it is now. Seriously. I think even Nintendo wondered. One of their big wigs even said, "If we don't sell twice what the Gamecube sold, we have failed." In 5 years, the Gamecube sold nearly 22 million units. As of right now, the Wii has sold over 36 million. In two years. Yeah, I think you guys are gonna hit your goal.

In fact, the Wii is on track to become the best selling video game console ever. Even more than the legendary NES, which sold 62 million units worldwide. Quite the achievement. The XBox 360, which came out a full year before the Wii, has sold about 22 million. The Wii has sold 36 million, a full 60% more than the XBox. Don't even bring up the PS3. The poor schmoes only have 16 million. Bwahahahaha!!!

Even more amazing is that Wii Sports continues to approach the 'best-selling game ever' mark with 30 million sold. Mind you, the game comes with the system (except in Japan and Korea), but then again, so did Super Mario Bros., which sold about 40 million. Wow.

The Wii is awesome because of its motion controls. Yeah, there's some really crappy games out there for it. But there are crappy games for every system. And those other guys don't have Mario or Kirby or Zelda or F-Zero or any of that other amazing stuff. The Wii is quite literally changing the direction of video games. Sony tried to incorporate motion controls into their controller after Nintendo showed what they had at E3. Microsoft recently changed the interface of the XBox by adding 'avatars' (everyone knows they're just a knock-off of Miis) and channels similar to the Wii Menu. Leave it to Nintendo to shake up the industry.

In closing, I believe I would be a great candidate for the open position in your company. I think you'll find that my resume is well-written and definitely not totally made-up. Thank you.


Currently Playing: Animal Crossing: City Folk, Apollo Justice: Ace Attorney, New Zune Games

Friday, November 14, 2008

Flush Gum Froodee!

Friday means new Flash game! This time, I would like to show you a great game. It involves something that is not only immoral, but hilariously morbid. Of course I mean launching kittens out of a cannon.

I should probably tell you that there is blood involved, considering the cat can land on spikes and bombs and what not. It is animated blood, so if you are faint of animated heart, I would recommend staying away.

Instructions: Choose cannon angle, launch kitten, go for distance!

Click Here to play Kitten Cannon!

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Agents Are Go!!

There's an issue that must be addressed here. There are problems happening all over the world, and people keep trying to help, but they're not sure what to do. There is mass confusion and chaos on the horizon. And somehow, people forget where to look. I shall tell you where to look. Elite Beat Agents.

Yeah, I know. You probably haven't heard of them. Many haven't. But I guarantee you once you get to know them, they can help you solve so many of your life's problems, you will wonder how you got by without them. A local babysitter recieved help with some snotty kids thanks to the EBA. A Texas oil baron won back his supermodel wife with their assistance. They even helped a car lot owner steal back the secret plans for an amazing new car. How in the world do they know how to solve everything? It's simple, really. It's in the music.

Elite Beat Agents is a DS rhythm/action game similar to other music titles. Think Dance Dance Revolution with a stylus. Beats appear on screen, and you tap, drag, or spin them along with the beat. Sounds hard. And sometimes, it is. But there is simply no way to know how amazing this game is until you play it.

You follow the lives of various people across the globe as they battle life's problems. The EBA help out with jazzy beats and sweet moves. Your job is to keep the song going by correctly nailing as many notes as possible. The first mission puts you in the situation of the babysitter with 3 uncontrollable children. Through the inspirational beats of the EBA, the babysitter and her (future) boyfriend find ways to take control over the miniature monsters. Awesome.

Helping a babysitter in a video game? You bet. Not only is it fun, it's hilarious. The graphics are in a neat comic-book style. And it is stinkin' funny. But it's not just funny. It's exciting. It's thrilling. And sometimes, it's even touching. It's amazing how much emotion they crammed onto a tiny DS cartridge.

One story has a deep sea diver hunting treasure to the song YMCA. And the Agents in the background actually do the YMCA dance. Awesome. Another has the car lot owner trying to steal back the car plans to the beat of Canned Heat (the same song Napoleon Dynamite danced to). Awesome.

I can guarantee you by the time you finish playing this game, you will be sweating bullets. And you will enjoy it. The game starts out easy enough. But it's hard. Dang hard. Yeah, it's hard enough that there's no chance you'll get some of the songs on the first try. In fact, on the highest difficulty, every song is a challenge. But the game is so engaging, so intense, and so fun, you have no choice but to keep going until you beat the song.

Obviously, the heart of any rhythm game is the music. This game doesn't let down. Obviously, some songs are better than others. People have different tastes. No problem. This game has everything from the Rolling Stones to Good Charlotte and everything in between. Even better, many of the songs are covers that are actually better than the original. Wow.

Elite Beat Agents is one of those few games that has a perfect mix of great content, extreme emotions, infinite replay value, perfect difficulty, and endless fun. It is a game that everyone needs to play. I don't mean just DS owners. I don't even mean people who like video games. EVERYONE. MUST. PLAY. THIS. GAME. It's that good.

  • Excellent music!
  • Emotionally charged stories.
  • Stinkin' hard, but perfect for the game.
  • Funnest. DS. Game. Ever.
  • There are none.
This game has earned a Blatantly Biased:

In case you were wondering, this is only the 12th game to receive this high of a Blatantly Biased score, the only DS game to get a 10 (so far), and the first since Kirby Air Ride (Gamecube, 2003).

Monday, November 10, 2008

108 in 2008 Novembrate Update

Here it is close to halfway through November and I'm starting to fall behind on my video game goal!... just kidding. Kinda.

As you can see, I have nearly beaten 100 games this year. That's pretty awesome. Also awesome is that the year is nearly over, which means class is nearly over, which means awesome vacation/play time in near. Wahoo!

But despite the awesomeness approaching, I have been slipping a little. As demonstrated by my extremely professional and probably-not-Excel-spreadsheet picture here, the last time I beat a game was about 2 weeks ago. Whoops. Fortunately, I was ahead two weeks ago, so I'm only a game or two behind. So it's all good.

I do have some commentary about the last few games I beat, though. Take, for example, N+ and Looney Tunes B-Ball. Two amazingly awesome games, the latter moreso than the former. Then, a little further down, a couple of old-school sports games. When I say old-school, I really mean crap-school. Bulls vs. Blazers has to be one of the most stupidly hilarious games I've ever played. The CPU team will always win. Fortunately, the power button was mysteriously pressed right before the game ended. Guess it was a draw. Hehe!

Right below that travesty is Tecmo Bowl. I always hear good things about Tecmo Bowl. I will say that the passing system is the easiest that has ever been created. Pass the ball, the guy catches it. Unfortunately, that also means the interception system is equally easy, if not moreso. Just be within 2 body lengths of the opponent, and prepare to take that ball away. In other words, Tecmo Bowl is not immune to the I-hate-football-video-games disease. Oh well. I beat it. And by that, I mean I played one quarter. Good enuff.

Fortunately, there are much better games down the pipeline. Yesterday, I started Apollo Justice: Ace Attorney, the 4th in a series of excellent law games for the DS. Sounds ridiculous, but presenting evidence and catching people lying in court can be an incredible rush. Awesome.

I am also nearly finished with a couple of DS games I got for my birthday from my amazing wife. Bubble Bobble Double Shot and Space Invaders Extreme are both on their way to my beaten list.

There are still 4 weeks of school left. There is one week for Thanksgiving in there, plus about 2.5 weeks after school ends to try and beat games. So, while it may prove to be a slight struggle, I firmly believe that I shall conquer my goal. And now that you're bored, go and play some games. Dangit.


Currently Playing: Apollo Justice, Elite Beat Agents, Looney Tunes B-Ball

Friday, November 7, 2008

Dessert Island

No, I'm not talking about the tropical baked equivalent of Candyland (did you read the title right?) I'm talking about the classic question posed to fanatics of anything. If you were stranded on a desert island, what 5 (whatever the crap) would you want to have with you? Today, I shall share with you you my top 5 games I would have if I was stranded on a desert island.

But this is no ordinary desert island list. I shall share with you my top 5 games with female main characters. Games with a female character as a choice don't count, such as Smash Bros and Mario Bros 2. So let's have a look. Should be interesting...

5 - Trace Memory(DS): This classic DS game stars Ashley Robbins, a thirteen year old girl who recieves a package from her thought-to-be-dead father on her birthday. She is instructed to go to Blood Edward Island off the coast of Washington. Her father is not there to greet her, so she goes lookoing for him.

The game is similar to your standard point-and-click adventure. You explore various rooms and areas and pick up items and hit switches, etc. The story is extremely compelling and the gameplay is very fun. As with many point-and-click adventures, sometimes you can get stuck looking for a hidden item or switch, but aside from that, the game is highly entertaining. After I complete my 108 in 2008 goal, perhaps I shall play through it again. It's that good.

4 - Drill Dozer (GBA): Another Nintendo portable sleeper hit. You play as Jill, a member of a crew of drillers. She controls a walking drilling machine as you try and find all the treasures you can. When you start a level, you can only drill through a certain thickness of walls. As you go, you can find second and third gears, the latter of which allows you to drill through most anything.

Sounds like an 'interesting' title, to be sure. But it's way more fun than it sounds. The levels are nicely designed, and the boss battles are hard, but beatable. Plus, the cartridge has a built-in rumble pak, so when you drill, the thing shakes. That rules. Plus, it's one of those great games where after you beat the main adventure, you just HAVE to go and find all the extra treasures. Definitely worth a second play-through.

3 - Metroid Zero Mission (GBA): Many people are not aware that Samus, the star of Metroid games, is a woman. This is a little more commonly known now that Smash Bros. has Zero Suit Samus, but many are still unaware. In any case, Zero Mission takes place before all the other Metroid games. It's very interesting in that you find out a lot about Samus' past, much of which was previously unknown.

Zero Mission is my personal favorite of all Metroid titles. Mostly because it's fun and exciting, but not thumb-chaffingly hard. Plus the storyline is amazing. The design is simply flawless. All the characters and backgrounds are well-drawn and pleasant to look at. The sound and music fit the mood perfectly. And of course, the controls are perfect. In short, it's an awesome game. Out of all the Metroids, this one deserves the most play-throughs.

2 - Super Princess Peach (DS): What? A game starring the often annoying and far-too-girly Princess Peach? How could that possibly be any good? If you agree with the previous statements, you have obviously never played the game. In my opinion, it's nearly as good as any Mario game. Yeah, it's easy. But who cares? Kirby games are easy, and they're amazing. Easy doesn't mean lame.

Super Princess Peach is similar to many Mario games. You run around, stomp goombas, and collect power-ups. Peach has her umbrella which lets her float, attack enemies, and pick up items. Using the touch-screen, you can control her emotions to help you along your way. For example, you can make her angry, which lets her catch things on fire. It really is an awesome game. Plus, there are some mini-games where you control Toad. Can't get any better than that.

1 - Perfect Dark (N64): One of the few FPS games I own is also one of the best games I own. Perfect Dark is the spiritual sequel to Goldeneye. It controls the same way, but with awesome new weapons and characters. The game is really, really hard at times, but it's also really, really fun. There's a co-op mode, extemely large multiplayer mode, and tons of unlockables. It is easily one of the greatest N64 games, and that's saying something.

In the story mode, you control Joanna Dark, a super-skilled secret agent. You try to foil the DataDyne Corporation and their plans for world domination. Like Goldeneye, you can unlock awesome cheats and options, such as DK mode, which makes everyone's heads and arms huge. Plus, the incredible invincibility mode is fun to use. Just kill people with no chance of dying. In short, the game has nearly unlimited replay value. Awesome.

So, there you go. If any of you get stuck on this island with me, be prepared to play some serious Perfect Dark. Until that time, I shall enjoy the other near billions of games I own.

Honorable Mentions:
Metroid Prime (fun, but too dang hard)
Castlevania: Order of Ecclesia (haven't played it yet. Looks fun, tho)


Getting Ready to Start: Apollo Justice: Ace Attorney

Flash Game Friday!!

Today I introduce to you a new feature to Blatant Bias: Flash Game Fridays! Basically, I show you a great online game to keep you occupied over the weekend. This week I'd like to share with you an old standby: Line Rider. It's good for your fun, it's good for your health, I'm benjamines, For Your Health! Have Some!

Instructions: Draw lines, let rider go, try not to kill him to much. Ready go!

Click Here to play Line Rider!

Wednesday, November 5, 2008


Well, Election Day is over and there are some interesting results. We are now an Obama-nation as Barack Insane Obama was elected. I don't really know why. In my mind, he was the Bill Laimbeer's Combat Basketball among presidential candidates. Additionally, Proposition 8 passed in California. To bring this rainbow of emotions to light, let's discuss some same-genre marriages of video games that didn't work out.

Shaquille O'Neal (Manly) + Kung Fu (Manly): Everyone knows that Shaq used to be the coolest player in the NBA. He was huge, he was tall, he was just plain manly. And Kung Fu has always been manly. I mean, come on, what could be manlier than ripping someone's heart out of their chest with your bare hand. But then... what happens when they combine?

Ok, so take the best parts of Street Fighter, Mortal Kombat, and Clayfighter, and everything that's left over basically amounts to Shaq Fu. There aren't even any original characters. You have some weird Jack the Ripper-ish feller, and the rest are your garden variety fight game crew. Gaaaaaaaame of the year. Not.

Firefighters (Manly) + Explosions (Manly): So, there actually are Firefighting games that are fun and entertaining. I mean, seriously. Firefighters are just plain cool. And explosions? It pretty much doesn't get any manlier than that. And then there's The Ignition Factor.

This civil union of two manly styles makes for one classic(ly crappy) SNES game. It gives you the chance to see what it would be like to save people from a burning mannequin factory. I kid you not. There are people dying, but 90% of the silhouettes turn out to be plastic people. Homo. Sapiens. Made of plastic.

Barbie (Girly) + Fairies, Princesses, etc. (Girly): Girls have a right to have girly things. That's why McDonald's has their Barbie/Hot Wheels happy meals so every kid can be happy. If they want Barbies, that's fine. They can have their Hello Kitty. Disney Princess? Ok. But anytime you start adding girly to girly, it just makes a mess. Imagine planting a flower inside of another flower. Let me know how that turns out for you.

To be honest, most girl video games are just plain retarded (Julie Find A Way, anyone?) And the Barbie NES game (pictured) is probably tougher to beat than most games, purely because of poor design. But to be fair, there are some games that take one part girly and one part manly and it turns out great. Super Princess Peach, for example. One part girly (Princess Peach, girly to the max), and one part manly-platforming action, and POOF! Pure awesome. Most other girl games don't hold back on the sugar and spice. Gaaaaaaaaaaaaateway to depression, to be sure.

For the record, anything with Bratz in it automatically qualifies as gaaaaaaang violence and should not be used by anyone.

Donkey Kong (Manly) + Pest Control (Manly): As far as video game characters go, Donkey Kong is about as manly as they come. I mean, the guy wears a tie for goodness sake. And don't forget he can play the bongos better than any simian out there. But then, one day, he stumbled onto the territory of the Orkin man.

Donkey Kong 3 was much different than any other DK game. Instead of controlling Mario, you were a strapping young lad with a bug spray gun. Somehow, this is useful in keeping giant gorillas at bay. And... that's about all you do. Don't get me wrong, I love Donkey Kong games. Just not this one. Any game where you spray someone in the butt with harsh chemicals sounds pretty gay to me.

Basketball (Manly) + Robots (Manly): You all knew this was coming. A perfect example of why same-genre video game marriages don't work. And don't give me all this 'Every game is equal' crap. One look at Bill Laimbeer's Combat Basketball should turn every game straight. I don't even know why I have to explain it. It's like explaining why poop stinks.

For those unfamiliar (consider yourselves lucky), Bill Laimbeer's Combat Basketball involves extremely slow and clunky basketball action with extremely slow and clunky robot suits. Imagine trying to play tennis in six feet of snow, wearing an entire suit of medieval armor. That would be about 3 times faster and 12 times funner than this game. Gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaping wound on my brain.

For a finer look at these and other cream-of-the-crap games, go here. In the meantime, I'ma go wash the stink outta my nose.


Currently Playing: Worms 3D, Wii Fit, Smash Bros. Brawl

Monday, November 3, 2008

N+ = A+?

A while back, the internet Flash game 'N' appeared on the scene. It was a great physics-based game. In the game, you control an extremely agile ninja who can scale walls, run very quickly, and jump about 6 times his height. The goal was to open the door with a switch and then reach said door. Also, hazards such as land mines, homing missiles, and lasers made the job very difficult.

Recently, the game was given a new iteration in the form of a DS game called N+. It takes everything great about the original, and adds new levels, a level editor, multiplayer, and online play. How cool is that?

Surprisingly, the game doesn't lose any of its charm with its translation to Nintendo's ever popular portable. The physics are essentially identical to the original. This is great, considering the DS's controls are more comfortable than a computer keyboard.

Also awesome is the fact that you can save (a few) replays. This is important because some of these levels may take hours to complete. Not because they are large, but because they are extremely difficult. One of the more difficult levels has you scaling mine-laden walls and hitting multiple switches while homing missiles continuously chase you around. Dang.

The game also has a new style, with more realistic looking enemies and areas. But, if you prefer the classic style, you can use that, too. Interestingly enough, if you save a replay and switch styles, the replay turns out different. So I guess they're not totally identical. Crazy.

All in all, the game is loads of fun. It's one of those great DS games that you can open, play for a few minutes, and then put away until you have another free minute. The graphics are well done, the gameplay is good, and the replay value is very very high. Plus, there's a level editor. Level editors rule!!!

I would recommend this game to anyone who likes ninjas, anyone who likes explosions, and anyone who likes video games. Hoo-hah!

  • Extremely addicting fun
  • Loads of levels, plus a level editor
  • Great physics, great design, great fun!
  • The music is terrible (but you can turn it off)
  • The interface is a little clunky
  • Sometimes you die for no reason (this is rare)
This game has earned a Blatantly Biased: