Friday, December 31, 2010

200 Posts, 25 years, 2,010… years again

bb200mario25 Well, friends, we’ve come to an interesting crossroad.  Not only is this the 200th post of your favorite internet blog, but this year marks the 25th anniversary of our beloved friend, Mario.  Plus, 2010 is over.  So, let’s throw them all together and have a 200th Post/25th Mario Anniversary/2010 Year in Review Spectaculabration!

Yes, 200 is a lot of posts.  And, I’ve created this enormous number of Nintendo-loving articles in just over 3 years.  That’s faster* than any other blog that has ever been or ever will be written.

This year is also exciting because it’s been 25 years since the release of the ever-important, ever-amazing game Super Mario Bros.  As you may know, in the early 80s, America was growing tired of the craptacular video game industry. Not unlike today, thousands of games were created, many without any kind of authorization, and many of those at exorbitant prices.  Yes, the industry was pert near dead at the time.

800px-NES-console-with-controller-png Then, from a little-known* country named Japan, a new video game system was released that combined stellar graphics, excellent sound, and a radical yet effective controller.  Of course, we’re talking about the Famicom (short for Family Computer, the Japanese equivalent of the NES).  And included with every Famicom and NES was the industry-changing, industry-saving game Super Mario Bros.

Sure, it was kinda weird.  The game starred an Italian plumber who ran around stomping on giant turtles and walking fungi. Then, he would eat mushrooms to somehow grow twice his regular size.  Oh, and don’t forget the flying fish that came shooting out of the ground somehow.  “What a bunch of hippie crap!” the old farts used to say**.  But despite the oddness, the game was an incredible success.  Some parents sold their children to the circus to buy more games**.  The video industry was saved!

red wii and dsi This year, Nintendo marked the occasion by offering some special deals: a Mario-red Wii, a Mario-red DSi XL, and a Super Mario All-Stars game for the Wii.  As you can see, it’s a fitting homage to the mustachioed hero.  And of course, because I’m a medically* diagnosed OCNF (obsessive, compulsive, Nintendo fan), I had to have all three.  Hooray!

You may say to yourself, “Man, I am stupid sometimes Isn’t Mario All-Stars just a re-release of re-released Mario games for the SNES?  There’s no reason to buy it!”  If so, you’re a raging idiot.  The end.

Btw, this is my 200th post.  That’s like, an average of one post every ten years since the year 0.  So awesome.  Of course, you know that means I may not post again til 2020, just to keep the ratio the same.

Moving on, 2010 was a great year for gaming.  Between Super Mario Galaxy, Kirby’s Epic Yarn, Metroid: Other M, and Donkey Kong Country Returns, Nintendo gamers have been given an cornucopia of platforming goodness.  And that’s just on Wii!  The DS saw great titles like Mario vs. Donkey Kong: Minis March Again, Super Scribblenauts, and Professor Layton & the Unwound Future.  Several major Nintendo franchises saw new games this year, and they’ve all been amazing!

3DS-wide-420x0 Don’t forget: 2011 will also be a great year for gaming, particularly because the 3DS will be released.  It appears that 3D gaming is here to stay, especially since the 3DS gives you the benefit of 3D without those terrible glasses!  Personally, I can’t hold in my excitement*** when I think about Paper Mario, Monkey Ball, and F-Zero is 3D.  Rest assured, I will own one.  Here’s hoping they release it in Virtual Boy Red on launch day! (Note: Nintendo has not yet announced the price, colors, or exact date of the 3DS launch.  They will be holding a press conference on January 19th.)

In short, 2010 was a great year: great games, great Mario, great blogging, and great Aunt Germelda.  As you venture on in to the new year, make sure you include some sweet-awesome video games to help dull the pain of stupid and allegedly-necessary evils like homework, mortgage payments, and brushing your teeth.  Remember, you’re better off losing your house from playing too many games than you are getting ebola and dying a terrible, painful death.

As a wise* man** once said, “I can’t handle all this excitement!***”

Happy New Year!


* Not even close
** Somewhat likely
*** Or my urine