Thursday, February 26, 2009

Terrible Turdsday!

That's right, friends, it's time for yet another day for putting down terrible games. Today, we take stabs (no pun intended) at Resident Evil 2 for, the system which I can guarantee you we will be seeing more of as time goes on.

The was kind of like Tiger's attempt at making something that was better than those old LCD games, but not quite as good as the Game Boy. Clearly, this logic has flaws in and of itself. In any case, it did have some features that hadn't been seen in previous game systems. Most notable is the touch screen, although it is far less efficient and usuable than touch screens on systems like the DS. Also, it had two game slots, so you could carry two games with you at any time. I actually kind of liked this idea.

But that's about as far as good things go for the system. It was riddled with problems and terrible games. Since the screen is a passive LCD, it takes a split second for each animation frame to appear, making it difficult to see, especially if anything was moving faster than about 2 frames per second. The music is terrible. I don't know what they were thinking, but in game music consists of melodies that are even less exciting than LCD games. Weird. Also, the graphics processor was basically non-existent, meaning all the games were bound to suck.

One of the worst culprits is Resident Evil 2. Now, I've never played any other resident evil games, but considering they consistently sell in the millions, I'm sure they're better than this one. Naturally, horror games like Resident Evil need creepy music and dark scenes to make a scary mood happen. Consider that impossible on the good ol* Also, remember that movement becomes nearly impossible, not only because of the graphics processor (or lack thereof), but because the second a zombie grabs onto you, you're pretty much stuck there. Genius.

One of the selling points of the was it's "voice power." Basically, they gave it a way to play sound samples, so you could have realistic voice samples or sound effects. Unfortunately, the cartridges were very limited in size, so apparently they only had enough room for 1 sound effect for zombies. So expect to hear the same sound. Over. And over. And over...

In short, this game is terrible. I think I would actually rather fight actual zombies than play this game all the way through. And just so you know I'm not making this game up, here's a YouTube video to prove its sad existence.

  • It's terrible
  • Way too slow
  • Repetitive sound effects
  • It's not Bill Laimbeer's Combat Basketball
This game has earned a Blatantly Biased:

*By 'good ol', I mean it's good that it's so old, so no kids are subjected to its terrors.


Rachel said...

Hehehe, I liked the meaning behind "good ol", makes me giggle. Sounds like a pretty horrible game. I'm glad we mostly only have good games to play. :) I think you are the best Mr. Blatant Bias! Keep up the good work ;)

I love you! :)

Devin said...

HAHA! That's awesome! This thing in no way compares to the incredible computing power of the R-Zone!