Thursday, March 5, 2009

Teeerrible Tuuuurdsday!!

Hello again, fellow game freaks! It's Thursday, and of course, that means it's time for us to pick a terrible game and make fun of it until it cries! Hoo-hah!

I know the is a terrible system, but I thought I'd try and limit making fun of it to about every two weeks. That way, we can see other systems that were good, they just had crappy games. Therefore, this week we'll take a gander at a highly popular TV show turned into a highly crappy video game.

Of course you know I mean Monday Night Football. It's a ratings giant (most of the time)! Naturally, that means someone had the brilliant idea of turning it into a video game. 'Kids don't care what's in it,' said the now-unemployed designer. 'They just want football. Put their favorite made-up players in it and they'll go crazy over it!' If you frequent the homeless shelter, you may recognize this man.

In any case, Data East, the company behind this catastrophe, decided to run with it. I'm pretty sure they starting programming, decided it was too hard to make it worth their while, and then had the lead tester take a dump in the disk drive. Then they published the game. I'm pretty sure that's on Wikipedia somewhere.

So, as you have seen, the game is a real turd. I mean, I'm sure someone out there likes it. You know the type. They think football is played too fast, so to slow it down is good for them. They like losing to the computer every time. They love Gatorade. Also, they are masochistic. And dumb.

In all seriousness, though, the game is football. That alone should be enough incentive to get you to stay away. The only reason I own the game is because it came with my SNES when I bought it several years ago. I did not choose this game. I do not enjoy football video games. Real football is awesome. Video game football is about as fun as slamming your toes in a car door.

In short, the game is slow, boring, and hard to play, let alone enjoy. It's not a total loss, however. After all, the game has Chris Berman. And he's just as fat as he is in real life.

  • It's football.
  • It's slow.
  • It's not remotely fun.
  • An accurate portrayal of Chris Berman's gut.
This game has earned a Blatantly Biased:


Rachel said...

Sounds pretty teeerrible. Hehe, that poor guy in the homeless shelter. I love you, Ben! :)

Devin said...

Go Chris Berman!