Wednesday, August 6, 2008

Yii Olde Wii

What better way to display my endless and possibly irrational Nintendo fanboyism than to begin this blog with a post about the Wii. Yes, the tiny little white box that could. The Two Gamecubes Taped Together. And who could forget 'the console with the longest list of inappropriate nicknames based on its outrageous title.' I have to say, even I am surprised a gaming system that makes you look incredibly retarded while playing it is doing so well. As of this writing, the Wii has sold an estimated 30 million units in less than two years. That puts it 10 million units ahead of the Xbox 360, which came out an entire year earlier, and more than twice the number of units of the Play Suck-tion 3. But I don't really care about numbers. What about the games?

To be honest, the Wii did not keep me constantly and totally enthralled, like the DS did when I finally got one of those. But that is beginning to change. First of all, stupid things like school, work, and sleep kept me from playing it as much as I'd like. The DS is portable, which means I can (and do) play it wherever I want to. Secondly, the large number of fantastic games seems small compared to the flood of shovelware and crappy movie tie-ins. However, the recent end of the semester has led to more time spent with our little white friend, and thus more time delving into its endless possibilities.

First off, I have to say that when I first found a Wii (by pure dumb luck in a local Kmart), I skipped school and work to play it. Wii Sports was the most fun and amazing game in years. Not only that, the Mii channel and other built-in features were kinda like games in and of themselves. I spent hours creating Hulk Hogan and Snoopy lookalikes. Even the News Channel was cool, if only because I could use it with a controller.

Thankfully, when the glitter of Wii Sports faded, The Legend of Zelda was there to save me. While it took me a little while to get into it, once I did get hooked, I could not stop playing. Food and sleep became secondary to sword slashing and monster slaying. It is inarguably the most gorgeous Zelda game to date, with an incredible and compelling story to boot. The action is intense, the bosses and hard, and the characters are hilarious. Not only that, the world is simply massive. Think Link to the Past times 10. It was truly a game for the ages; a game 5 years in the making that did not disappoint.

But then what? Between May and November there was Metroid Prime 3 (I haven't played MP2 yet, so I didn't buy it), Mario Galaxy, and... that's about it. Smash Bros. kept getting delayed and Mariokart hadn't even been announced. So, the Wii sat there. For way too long. Neglected, like the long lost uncle who seems cool at first, but then turns out to be a turd when he runs out of candy to give you. But why?

Seems third-party developers thought the Wii would fail. No one believed in its potential. Now they look at their underselling games on other platforms and wish they had trusted Nintendo. They thought Nintendo would go the way of Sega and fail, ending up making games for other platforms.

But this is where the good news comes. Developers noticed that the Wii was unstoppable. Think about it: what other product has been out for nearly two years, yet it is still difficult to find without paying some exorbitant sum to some jerkwad who bought all ten that came in to WalMart and put them on eBay. In short, people started catching on.

Now, game developers have decided that making money is a good thing. And so, funds have been shifted towards making Wii games. My point is that soon, the number of awesome Wii games will soon outnumber the slough of crappy Brain Age knock offs and stupid Nintendogs clones.

But I digress. I think the real reason I didn't get hooked on the Wii like I did the DS was because of stupid school. LAME! So, you're probably thinking that this post was a ginormous waste of your time. And you're probably right. To help ease your pain, I will send anyone who reads this 10,000 rupees. Just send me your name, address, and an explanantion as to how in the world are you going spend 10,000 rupees which can only be used in a land that does not exist. Outside of the Nintendo, that is.


benjamines said...

Wow. Discombobulation at its finest. Note to self: ix-nay on the ee-in-the-morning-thray osts-pay.

Audrey said...

You owe me 10,000 rupees.
My name is Gregory Pharns.
My address is 241 Get-a-Life street
Frankfurt, Yomomma's House 12345
I will spend my rupees on the little hotdog characters that Old Man Jensen sells at the corner. He's blind. He can't tell the difference between me and a cat.
So all is well.