E3 2012 Tuesday Recap

Today, Nintendo unveiled some of their new games for this year, most of them for the Wii U. Some of high points include:

E3 2012 Live Broadcast

Greetings, Nintendorks! Ready to check out some sweet, sweet Nintendo news and announcements? Me too!

For this year's presentation, Nintendo will be broadcasting the event from here, their E3 Facebook page. As long as the server doesn't crash from so many people tuning in, that should work.

E3 Bingo 2012

It’s almost here! One of the best days of the year is fast approaching: Nintendo’s E3 Press Conference, where we wait anxiously for announcements about new systems, new features, and most importantly, new games.

As I have done in the past, I have created a fancy shmancy new bingo card for this year’s conference. Behold! (click for larger view, or open in a window/tab)

'Sonic the Hedgehog' creator charged with murder

Naoto Oshima

Naoto Oshima, creator of the popular video game character Sonic the Hedgehog, was charged with murder today in Osaka, Japan. Naoto allegedly ran down a former colleague in his car around 8am local time. The victim, Takashi Iizuka, was the head of Sonic Team, the company which makes the Sonic the Hedgehog video games.

Fulfilling Your Japaneeds

Nintendo is a Japanese company. I’m guessing that’s because it was founded in Japan. And, for whatever reason, many of the games created in Japan never make it to US shores. It’s a shame, really, since many of these games are excellent. Let’s have a look at a few Japanese games that never made it to the US of A.

Game Guessing Game

This year is a going to a great year to be a Nintendo fan. Granted, every year is a great year to be a Nintendo fan. In any case, this year, we have a lot of new games and a great new system being released.
President of Nintendo Satoru Iwata recently said that he expects the Wii U to launch before the Christmas season (likely mid-November-ish). That means we’ll get some great new games for the Wii U, in addition to some awesome 3DS games.

What the expansion slider?!

So, you may or may not have seen the recent news that Nintendo is releasing an expansion slide pad for the 3DS. This has led to a lot of speculation that Nintendo mishandled the 3DS launch and failed to add two slide pads.

To all those people who think Nintendo forgot to add a second analog and/or that Nintendo is now desperately trying to fix the 3DS with an add-on: you’re idiots.

Do you honestly believe that Nintendo, after years of developing a new system, suddenly think that they messed up, and are desperately trying to fix their “mistake” after only a few months after launch? If you do: you’re an idiot.

The 3DS is a perfectly capable and well-designed machine. The 3D effect is fantastic. After playing games like Pilotwings in 3D, you start to ‘crave’ the effect in other games. It makes it much easier to tell where you are in 3D worlds. The slide pad is the prefect way to add an analog stick to a portable system. It’s flat, effective, and comfortable.

Why then, is Nintendo releasing this add-on? Two words: Monster Hunter. This is what probably happened: Nintendo and Capcom were in talks to make a Monster Hunter game for the 3DS (in case you didn’t know, the Monster Hunter series is extremely popular in Japan). This alone would guarantee 3DS sales. Capcom probably said, ‘We’ll do it, but we need a second slide pad for optimum controls.’ Nintendo probably decided an add-on slide pad would be better than to screw over all the people who already owned a 3DS. And I absolutely agree.

Here’s the poop on the slide pad: It has its own battery, so it won’t reduce the 3DS’s battery life. It adds the slide pad, plus a couple of shoulder buttons. And of course, the best part: it’s completely optional. Several games have already been announced that use the new expansion slide pad, such as Kingdom Hearts, Metal Gear Solid, and Resident Evil. It’s entirely likely that the expansion slide pad will be available in a bundle with some or all of these games.

And the best part? It looks way better than people thought. It appears to make holding the system much more like holding a controller, as you can see here. So why the turdstorm over this new thing? Because people are idiots.

Case in point: many gaming bloggers are trolling idiots who stir up controversy to gets more hits on their sites (I’m lookin’ at you, Kotaku). Nintendo still know what they’re doing, and the 3DS will be just fine. In fact, at stores like Toys ‘R’ Us, the 3DS has been in the top 10 best selling items since the price drop. So suck on that, idiots!

As for us gamers, we can relax knowing that Nintendo is going to bring us some of the best gaming experiences available. By the end of this year, we’ll have two Mario games, a new Sonic, Cave Story, and more. By the end of next year, we’ll have a new Professor Layton, Mario Tennis, Paper Mario, Animal Crossing, and many others. So rejoice, Nintendo fans! All is well with the 3DS!

The Book of Threedius, Chapter 5

1. And it came to pass in fifth month of the reign of Threedius, a joyous decree was read: “Behold! The loyal followers of King Threedius shall be given a most precious gift! On the morn of the first day of the ninth month, my ambassadors shall receive a bounty of joy! Yea, even a most bountiful joyousness!”

2. “For behold, ten of the most beloved of the records of my ancestors shall be given unto ye on this day to ensure your faith! And behold, ye shall receive ten more in a short time.”

3. And it came to pass that King Threedius, wanting to further strengthen the faith of his followers, gave the records unto his ambassadors one day before the original prophecy.

4. And the people rejoiced. The faithful among them celebrated with sweet drink and salted foodstuffs. But behold, those who trusted not in King Threedius were not given records, and were sorrowful. Yea, sorrowful even until they desired death rather than see the records of their brethren and know they could not obtain.

5. But behold, King Threedius was a generous king. And it came to pass that he promised the unfaithful that they, too, would be offered the chance to obtain these precious records. Behold, the time would come when all would be permitted to partake in the joy of these records. However, the unclean among them would be required to pay with gold and with silver and with all manner of precious things.

6. And it came to pass that the ambassadors of King Threedius were joyful in their gifts, and they celebrated in both day and in night. Yea, their joy was exceedingly full.

Mondownload… wait, what?

Hello again, faithful readers (both of you)! Today,we need to make some changes. You see, Nintendo recently changed the day of the week on which they release downloadable games from Monday to the closer-to-the-weekend Thursday. This means that Mondownloaday is no more. So, without further adieu, I present to you: Thursdownloaday! Ok, no it’s not a radical change. But who cares?! New games!

• The Ignition Factor (SNES, 800 pts) – If you dig fighting fires and you don’t might tedius challenges, this game is for you. If you like letting people burn to death, then this game is also for you. You’ll just have to play it a little counter-intuitively. (If you’re looking for a fun firemen game, try to get your hands on The Firemen [also for the SNES]. It’s much better.)

• Let’s Create! Pottery (500 pts) – Who doesn’t love making digital pots? Especially when you don’t actually get to keep or use the end result? I guess if you really like pretending to potterize, then give it a try. Also, you know… if you’re gay.
• Magical Whip: Wizards of the Phantasmal Forest (200 pts) – In this game whose name resembles my favorite sandwich spread, you run around and beat up monsters with your magical whip. While it may sound as gay as the previous game I mentioned, it looks pretty fun. It’s almost Bubble-Bobble-esque in a way, so I might actually spend the miniscule 200 pts to check it out. Speaking of… I hope Squeenix makes a 3DS Bubble Bobble for download. That’d be schweet!
• Calculator (200 pts) – For those of us who don’t already have 50 calculators and/or people who think they have 200 pts that simply can’t be spent anywhere else. Also nerds.

• Gargoyle’s Quest (Game Boy, $3.99) – In this spin-off of the Ghosts n’ Goblins universe, play as a Gargoyle and run around beating the crap out of things. I hear it’s good. I guess you better download it and find out for sure!

Well, there’s your Thursdownloaday! Another week, another crop of games. Go buy some of them! Or buy me some of them! I won’t mind! Bye now!

-benjamines

Nintendo E3 Press Conference Liveblog!

Greetings, Nintendorks! If your stupid school or work internet filter will not let you see gaming websites, have no fear! I have placed a liveblog here to let you see the conference in its entirety starting at 10am MDT. Keep in mind that I am not the one making comments on the conference as it happens. I may or may not have linked to someone else's liveblog. It's a free country, dagnabbit! Enjoy! Don't forget your bingo card!




-benjamines