Thursday, May 6, 2010

Terrible Turdsday!

And now, it’s time once again for your favorite make-fun-of-crappy-games bit!  This week, we examine a REAL gem of a game.  Lemme tell ya.

This crappy NES game has a crappy NES name.  Well, actually, it’s more of a short story.

Chapter 1

Wizardy

Proving Grounds of the Mad Overlord

The End

Personally, I like the name I gave it better: Gizzardry – Puking Clowns on the Bad Underwear.  That would have been a much better game, I assure you.

Let me show you what that would look like!

Wizardry boxLook at that pretty dragon!

Remember those old text adventure games, where you have to type each command, like Go South or Get Rock or Break Wind?  Well, this game is pretty much like that, except, as you know, the NES controller has no keyboard.  Well, not much of one anyways.  I guess if your commands looked like BABSelectABBStartBBABBB, you’d be ok.  Fortunately for the universe, the game has several commands you can use!  Like LOOK!  Or like, TALK!  It’s so freakin’ AMAZAZING!!

In short, this game is stupid.  Don’t buy it.  Don’t play it.  Don’t look at it.

For the record, I didn’t buy the game.  Some dirtbag mugger guy gave it to me.  Stinkin’ weirdy.

Pros:

  • Makes a great coaster!
  • It’s not Bill Laimbeer’s Combat Basketball
  • Makes ET for Atari look fantastic

Cons:

  • Must you ask?

This game has earned a Blatantly Biased:1

2 comments:

Rachel said...

Wow, sounds pretty terrible. Thank goodness for this review I might have accidently found it in your game collection and had a sudden urge to play it. Now I'm safe ;) You're great, Ben! Love you!

Rachel said...

Haha! I just saw that puking clowns picture. That's awesome!! Hehe, wow :) You are so good, babe!